In rightly training and molding the minds of her children, mothers are entrusted with the greatest mission ever given to mortals.—Sons and Daughters of God, 252
(DG 193)
To Shape Minds and Mold Characters—Especially does responsibility rest upon the mother. She, by whose lifeblood the child is nourished and its physical frame built up, imparts to it also mental and spiritual influences that tend to the shaping of mind and character. It was Jochebed, the Hebrew mother, who, strong in faith, was “not afraid of the king’s commandment” (Hebrews 11:23), of whom was born Moses, the deliverer of Israel. It was Hannah, the woman of prayer and self-sacrifice and heavenly inspiration, who gave birth to Samuel, the heaven-instructed child, the incorruptible judge, the founder of Israel’s sacred schools. It was Elizabeth, the kinswoman and kindred spirit of Mary of Nazareth, who was the mother of the Saviour’s herald.—The Ministry of Healing, 372 (1905).
(DG 193.1)
Mother’s Preparation Not to Be Neglected—The child’s first teacher is the mother. During the period of greatest susceptibility and most rapid development his education is to a great degree in her hands. To her first is given opportunity to mold the character for good or for evil. She should understand the value of her opportunity and, above every other teacher, should be qualified to use it to the best account. Yet there is no other to whose training so little thought is given. The one whose influence in education is most potent and far-reaching is the one for whose assistance there is the least systematic effort.—Education, 275 (1903).
(DG 193.2)
Teach Your Children to Pray—My brethren and sisters, I urge you to bring up your children in simplicity. Don’t scold them when they do wrong, but take them to the Lord, and tell Him all about it. When you kneel before God with your children, Christ is by your side, and angels of God are all around you. Teach them to ask God to forgive them for being cross and impatient. Bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Let us be men and women of prayer. Let us take hold of the divine nature, and escape the corruption that is in the world through lust. Then we shall have the eternal life insurance policy, a life that measures with the life of God. Then when the ransomed are redeemed from the earth, the city of God will be opened to you, and you can present yourselves before the Lord, saying, Here am I and the children whom Thou hast given me. Then the harp will be placed in your hand, and your voice will be raised in songs of praise to God, and to the Lamb, by whose great sacrifice you are made partakers of His nature, and given an immortal inheritance in the kingdom of God.—The Review and Herald, January 14, 1909.
(DG 194.1)
Mothers to Encourage Their Children—Whenever the mother can speak a word of commendation for the good conduct of her children, she should do so. She should encourage them by words of approval and looks of love. These will be as sunshine to the heart of a child and will lead to the cultivation of self-respect and pride of character.—Testimonies for the Church 3:532 (1875).
(DG 194.2)
Teach Children Importance of Habits Formed When Young—Children have claims which their parents should acknowledge and respect. They have a right to such an education and training as will make them useful, respected, and beloved members of society here, and give them a moral fitness for the society of the pure and holy hereafter. The young should be taught that both their present and their future well-being depend to a great degree on the habits they form in childhood and youth. They should be early accustomed to submission, self-denial, and a regard for others’ happiness. They should be taught to subdue the hasty temper, to withhold the passionate word, to manifest unvarying kindness, courtesy, and self-control. Fathers and mothers should make it their life study that their children may become as nearly perfect in character as human effort, combined with divine aid, can make them. This work, with all its importance and responsibility, they have accepted, in that they have brought children into the world.—The Review and Herald, March, 21, 1882.
(DG 194.3)
A Mother’s Source of Strength
Mothers to Look to God for Strength—If woman looks to God for strength and comfort, and in His fear seeks to perform her daily duties, she will win the respect and confidence of her husband, and see her children coming to maturity honorable men and women, having moral stamina to do right. But mothers who neglect present opportunities, and let their duties and burdens fall upon others, will find that their responsibility remains the same, and they will reap in bitterness what they have sown in carelessness and neglect. There is no chance work in this life; the harvest will be determined by the character of the seed sown.—The Signs of the Times, September 9, 1886.
(DG 195.1)
Jesus a Mother’s Best Friend—If mothers would go to Christ more frequently, if they would trust Him more fully, their burdens would be lighter, and they would find rest. Jesus knows the burden of every mother. He is her best friend in every emergency. His everlasting arms support her. That Saviour whose mother struggled with poverty and privation sympathizes with every mother in her work, and hears her earnest prayers. That Saviour who went on a long journey for the purpose of relieving the anxious heart of a Canaanitish woman will do as much for the afflicted mother of today. He who gave back to the widow of Nain her only son as he was being carried to burial is today touched by the bereaved mother’s woe. He who wept at the grave of Lazarus, who pardoned Mary Magdalene, who on the cross remembered His mother’s needs, who after the resurrection appeared to the weeping women, and made them His messengers, is today woman’s best friend, ready to 196 aid her in her need if she will trust in Him.—The Signs of the Times, August 20, 1902.
(DG 195.2)
Some Wise Counsel to Children
Addie and May Walling, children of Ellen White’s niece, lived in the White home, and Ellen White was like a mother to them. She cared for and counseled them as though they were her own. The girls were about 12 and 15 at the time this letter was written.
(DG 196.1)
Dear Children, Addie and May,
(DG 196)
I have a few moments this morning and will write you a few words of counsel. In my absence I would have you kind and courteous to all who are employed in my house. Neither of you [must] feel that you have experience and wisdom to do things correctly without counsel and advice from those older than yourselves. I have observed in you both a want of respect to those older than you. This defect in your character will, if indulged, become confirmed upon you and grow stronger with every indulgence. Therefore subdue it, control it, overcome it entirely....
(DG 196.2)
I see, Addie, more especially in you a growing disposition to jealousy. Jealousy, the Scriptures tell us, “is cruel as the grave.” Song of Solomon 8:6. You may inquire, “What is jealousy”? It is this: thinking that those around you do not think enough of you and appreciate your value. You imagine they talk about you and say things of you not correctly. You feel that others are favored and you are not. Many such feelings are the outgrowth of jealousy.
(DG 196.3)
Now, Addie, you want to be a Christian, a child of God. And if you succeed, you will have battles to fight with your own natural imperfections. You must watch for these defects and war against them with all your powers. Jesus loves you, He died for you, my children, Addie and May, and He wants you to have His spirit and His grace that you may indeed be His lambs, His dear children. You want the grace of Jesus to subdue every unlovely trait of character that you may be approved of Jesus and the holy angels.
(DG 196.4)
Addie, I observe you listen and watch to hear what others say, thinking they may say something in reference to you. Do not do this anymore. This you should overcome at once. Your mother did in this way when she was a girl, and she fancied that she was slighted and blamed and disliked, and this jealousy grew upon her until after she was married. She made the life of your father anything but pleasant. For your good, I enjoin upon you to nip this in the bud.
(DG 196.5)
Again, I see in you a disposition to dictate to May and fret at her. This is growing upon you. Treat May kindly, make your requests patiently, not in an ordering manner, but just as one sister should treat another. You will be disliked by everyone unless you look well to these things.
(DG 197.1)
You have both many things in your natural disposition that should be overcome. You must see these things, and then you will see how you despise them in others, and avoid them yourselves. You may grow up lovely in character, kind, gentle, meek, lowly of heart, or you may grow up peevish, fretful, unkind, self-sufficient, esteeming yourselves above that which you should. Read in the Bible what are the fruits borne by the Christian tree and then read the fruit borne by the evil tree. One is good, the other corrupt. Now I have no time to write further, but I know your defects of character. The Lord I love has shown me, and you, in His Holy Word that you may be His children, but you need His grace daily to overcome your errors of character.
(DG 197.2)
All these things I have mentioned, or even one of them, if not overcome, will exclude you from heaven; for nothing can enter there but that which is pure and holy. I want that our labors for you, my children, should not be in vain. I want you to be happy in the beautiful world Jesus has prepared for those who love Him and seek to be like Him in character.
(DG 197.3)
Do not neglect this matter. Be in earnest; battle with all your might against everything unlovely in character. You will be happier yourselves for this; you will make others happy around you, and you can, in your words and correct deportment, show that you are copying the Pattern, forming your character according to the character of Christ.
(DG 197.4)
May, my dear child, I do not wish you to overwork, but I want you to be prompt and bear your share of responsibility. Those who do work only when compelled to do so will be worthless. You can do work with cheerfulness and not wait to be told. Be faithful in little things, and then it will be easy for you to be faithful in larger things. Remember, there are duties for you to perform [that are] just as important to perfect your experience as the duties those older have to do to perfect their experience. Do your work, not as though it was a burden, but a pleasure, as though done for Jesus. Your Saviour was an obedient child, working with His father at the simple trade of a carpenter. You must eat and drink in order to live, and then, as a natural result, the dishes must be washed, and floors swept, if you live in houses.
(DG 197.5)
Now act your part with fidelity, doing your work for Jesus. I may write you again. I want you both to strive to excel in having the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which in the sight of God is of great price....
(DG 198.1)
Well, goodbye, my dear children. Be kind, be respectful to others older than yourselves.—Letter 3, 1881.
(DG 198.2)
Children’s Responsibility to Care for an Elderly Mother
Mary Chase was the sister of James White. During his lifetime he and Ellen had cared for his sister. After James died, Ellen White felt she could no longer bear this responsibility. She wrote to Mary’s daughter, Adeline Savage, challenging her to fulfill her duty in caring for her mother.
(DG 198.3)
Dear Niece, Adeline Savage,
(DG 198)
I think you should know how your mother [Mary Chase] is at the present time. She is quite feeble. She has needed care constantly. I cannot possibly have any care of her whatever.
(DG 198.4)
We leave Battle Creek for Otsego today. Next week we shall be, I expect, at Chicago. The eighth we start on our long journey for California. I feel very sad to leave your mother in her present state of feebleness. I provide for her the very best I can. I purchased a house, which has cost me a thousand dollars, and furnished it simply with necessary articles for her use. We have let a family into the house—a mother, son, and daughter. They have the use of the house [in exchange] for your mother’s board. I pay the taxes. Last year your mother paid the taxes, but she met with an accident in building a fire in the stove. The floor took fire and there was seventy-five dollars expense to me for repairs.
(DG 198.5)
The son of the widow lady who has my house has been sick for five weeks. During this time your mother has been sick, attended by a physician and sometimes a nurse, for she could not receive attention from anyone in the house. It was in the bargain that your mother’s fire should be made in the morning so that she could have a warm room to get up in, but further than this they could not do.
(DG 198.6)
If she needed a nurse, she must provide it. She has only three hundred dollars, which will melt away very soon. She must have clothing. She must have wood. I have done all I can do, and more than I should do. I look to you, her children and her grandchildren, to act your part. I feel bad indeed at the present appearance of things, that strangers’ hands have to do for your mother the duties which justly belong to you to perform. When the neighbors and friends inquire, “Has she no children to have a care for her?” how embarrassing to say, “She has two sons and a daughter and grandchildren and brothers.” The question is asked, “Why do not her children take care of their aged mother in her feebleness?” I am not able to answer that question, but perhaps you can answer it.
(DG 199.1)
I have my work, which is speaking and writing. I am in constant labor and ought not to have one thought or one care upon my soul for your mother. I have invested twenty-five dollars for clothing because your mother needed it. I have ordered wood for the winter because last winter I learned she lay abed hours in the daytime to save burning wood. The little money she has on hand, she is reluctant to use, thinking she might be sick for some time like her mother, and she dreads becoming a pauper. I cannot blame her for this, for judging from the past, she may feel she cannot depend at all on her children.
(DG 199.2)
Your mother has been very economical. I shall not leave her to suffer if you do nothing; but if you feel conscience clear in this matter, if you wish your record to stand in the judgment in the future as it has in the past in regard to your poor old mother, I cannot help it. But God marks this unfeeling neglect.
(DG 199.3)
God holds her children accountable for this neglected duty. I am sorry, so sorry, that the matter stands thus.
(DG 199.4)
Christ will judge every man according to his works. He identifies His interest with His suffering, neglected children. He says to one class, “I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.... Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.” The terrible word “Depart” is spoken.
(DG 199.5)
To those on His right hand He says, “I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.” The question is asked, “Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?” He said, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” Thus that which is done to His needy brethren Christ accounts as done unto Himself.—Letter 30, 1884.
(DG 200.1)