Chapter 14—The Christian Woman Is Modest at All Times
The lives of those who are connected with God are fragrant with deeds of love and goodness. The sweet savor of Christ surrounds them; their influence is to elevate and bless. They are fruitful trees. Men and women of this stamp of character will render practical service in thoughtful deeds of kindness, and earnest, systematic labor.—The Review and Herald, August 24, 1886
(DG 155)
Be Reserved and Modest—Let not those who profess the religion of Christ descend to trifling conversation, to unbecoming familiarity with women of any class, whether married or single. Let them keep their proper places with all dignity. At the same time they should be sociable, kind, and courteous to all. Young ladies should be reserved and modest. They should give no occasion for their good to be evil spoken of.... Those who give evidence that their thoughts run in a low channel, whose conversation tends to corrupt rather than to elevate, should be removed at once from any connection with the institution, for they will surely demoralize others.—Counsels on Health, 294 (1885).
(DG 155.1)
Manifest Less Boldness—From the light which the Lord has given me, our sisters should pursue a very different course. They should be more reserved, manifest less boldness, and encourage in themselves “shamefacedness and sobriety.” Both brethren and sisters indulge in too much jovial talk when in each other’s society. Women professing godliness indulge in much jesting, joking, and laughing. This is unbecoming and grieves the Spirit of God. These exhibitions reveal a lack of true Christian refinement. They do not strengthen the soul in God, but bring great darkness; they drive away the pure, refined, heavenly angels and bring those who engage in these wrongs down to a low level.—Testimonies for the Church 2:455 (1870).
(DG 155.2)
A Guard to Virtue—Cherish the precious, priceless gem of modesty. This will guard virtue.... I feel impelled by the Spirit of the Lord to urge my sisters who profess godliness to cherish modesty of deportment and a becoming reserve.... I have inquired, When will the youthful sisters act with propriety? I know there will be no decided change for the better until parents feel the importance of greater carefulness in educating their children correctly. Teach them to act with reserve and modesty.—Testimonies for the Church 2:458, 459 (1870).
(DG 156.1)
Influence of Debasing Books and Pictures—Many of the young are eager for books. They read everything they can obtain. Exciting love stories and impure pictures have a corrupting influence. Novels are eagerly perused by many, and, as the result, their imagination becomes defiled. In the [railroad] cars photographs of females in a state of nudity are frequently circulated for sale. These disgusting pictures are also found in daguerrean saloons [photo shops] and are hung upon the walls of those who deal in engravings. This is an age when corruption is teeming everywhere. The lust of the eye and corrupt passions are aroused by beholding and by reading. The heart is corrupted through the imagination. The mind takes pleasure in contemplating scenes which awaken the lower and baser passions. These vile images, seen through defiled imagination, corrupt the morals and prepare the deluded, infatuated beings to give loose rein to lustful passions. Then follow sins and crimes which drag beings formed in the image of God down to a level with the beasts, sinking them at last in perdition.—Testimonies for the Church 2:410 (1870).
(DG 156.2)
Satan Is Successful in Bewitching Minds of the Youth—The corrupting doctrine which has prevailed, that, as viewed from a health standpoint, the sexes must mingle together, has done its mischievous work. When parents and guardians manifest one tithe of the shrewdness which Satan possesses, then can this association of sexes be nearer harmless. As it is, Satan is most successful in his effort to bewitch the minds of the youth; and the mingling of boys and girls only increases the evil twentyfold. Let boys and girls be kept employed in useful labor. If they are tired, they will have less inclination to corrupt their own bodies. There is nothing to be hoped for in the case of the young, unless there is an entire change in the minds of those who are older. Vice is stamped upon the features of boys and girls, and yet what is done to stay the progress of this evil? Boys and young men are allowed and encouraged to take liberties by immodest advances of girls and young women. May God arouse fathers and mothers to work earnestly to change this terrible state of things, is my prayer.—Testimonies for the Church 2:482, 483 (1870).
(DG 156.3)
Give a Good Example in Dress
Fannie Bolton was employed for a time by Ellen White as one of her helpers. The following is a portion of a letter written to her in 1894.
(DG 157.1)
I have a word to say upon another point. Our sisters who have come from America have an account to render before God of their example in dress; in this matter they have not been approved of God as His missionaries. We need to be converted—soul, body, and spirit. Shall we by our example lead to pride, to selfish indulgence and selfish expenditure of means in dress that testifies that we are not the doers of the Word? The principles were presented before me, which are not as God would have them. I am not called upon to specify, but to warn you to take heed.
(DG 157.2)
The spirit that characterizes your work, Fannie, is not discerned by many—yourself or others. They cannot see the true inwardness of these matters, but it manifests itself on certain occasions. Although you are full of activity and zeal and stir and push, there is so much of one-sided, impulsive, ill-developed movements that the results are of the same order as the working. God’s chosen vessels will work under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You have worked largely under the sustaining influence of the self-satisfaction you have cherished, feeling that you were doing a large work. But winnow the wheat from the chaff and there will be very few kernels of pure grain. But the many judge from outward appearance, not from the spirit and real results.
(DG 157.3)
We are living in an age represented as being like that before the Flood. All who now plead for souls should in their dress and deportment carry the modesty and marks of the Lord Jesus. They must wait, watch, and pray for the Holy Spirit to be abundantly bestowed. We must take in the idea of Christianity; in conversation and in dress we must represent the truth. A decided guard must be placed upon the human agents in regard to the impressions they are making upon others in deportment and in dress. The Bible is our guide; study its teachings with a purpose to obey, and you need make no mistakes.
(DG 158.1)
Our dress should be in strict accordance with the character of our holy faith. [1 Timothy 2:9, 10; 1 Peter 3:3-5 quoted.] There is need of putting more of the Bible precept into the dress, as well as the inward adorning into the character.
(DG 158.2)
Fannie, wherever you go, wherever you may be, you need to study that the colors and material and style of your dress should be adapted to, and correspond with, your age and to the faith you profess. You remember I made the remark to Elder Olsen that when at Preston you were destitute of suitable clothing and felt too poor to supply yourself with what you should have. The remarks you made showed that you did not understand me. I want to be understood now.
(DG 158.3)
You need comfortable underclothing, which you must have in order to have health. But I certainly do not, in all respects, approve of your style of dress. I felt rather sad and ashamed when you stood upon the platform before the large crowd under the tent, with that light, large-figured dress. It was not appropriate for the occasion. Your judgment in the matter of dress may be much improved. I hope you will not consult your dressmaker but [consult] those who are of sensible minds and who will not flatter you or have any guile in their mouths as to suitable clothing that will make a proper impression upon the minds of both believers and unbelievers. We who claim to be in the light, and who take prominent positions to instruct others in children’s meetings, need to be severely plain, yet tidy and tasteful, in dress; we should not give a semblance of excuse to any for patterning after the worldly, changing fashions of this corrupt age. Those who dress after the order given in the Bible can, with appropriate words, help others to reach a proper standard.
(DG 158.4)
Do not come to me to ask how you shall dress. If our sisters have the Spirit of God abiding as a living principle in the heart, they will not in a single instance give occasion for any to turn aside the counsels of God by quoting the ministers’ wives or those engaged in giving Bible readings. Ever have your dress of good, durable material, and modest colors; let it be made plainly, without adornment. You certainly need to improve in your style of dress.—Letter 7, 1894 (Printed in entirety in The Fannie Bolton Story, available at the Ellen G. White Estate.).
(DG 159.1)
Letter of Counsel to Addie Walling
Addie Walling was the grandniece of Ellen White, the granddaughter of her sister, Caroline. James and Ellen White took Addie and her sister, May, into their home when they were young children and reared them as their own.
(DG 159.2)
To Addie Walling,
(DG 159)
Brother Whitney returns today on his way to Basle, Switzerland. Edith Andrews is steadily failing. I think this climate is better than Basle for my lungs. There has been much labor brought upon me through the lovesick sentimentalism of the workers in the office. I hope, my dear girl, you will keep free of this. You will gain the confidence of all whom you respect if you are reserved and do not encourage the attentions and the society of young men. If I had time, I would write you some things I have had to meet here and in every place where I have been. Edith, poor child, is not fit to die. She has attracted attention to herself and had a few favorites and neglected those who were worthy and good because they did not just meet her taste. These few she lavished her affections upon—[they] thought her perfection, and have petted her, and she petted them and [they] idolized one another. So, you see, God was left out of the question. This sentimentalism has injured the usefulness of excellent young men in the office and unfitted young girls for their work.
(DG 159.3)
I talked very plainly with Edith, and she does not seem to sense her condition. I have written to her, and I think she will now see her mistakes. She has had no experience in genuine religion, but has everything to do now in her feeble condition to know Christ and the power of His grace. Oh, that she had learned this while in health.
(DG 159.4)
I do hope you will not be deceived, Addie, as this poor child is. I hope you will be an earnest, true Christian day by day, seeking God in prayer. Do not be so busy you cannot give time to read the Bible and seek the grace of God in humble prayer. Follow no one’s example or custom in dress or in actions. If they lead to indifference and worldliness, do not express vanity in dress, but dress becomingly, neatly; but seek earnestly to be meek and lowly of heart and be obtaining a rich experience in the things of God. Learn to overcome vanity which exists in the heart that is not sanctified through the truth. Do not be forward, but be retiring and modest.
(DG 160.1)
You will now be looked to by many and criticized to see how you will come forth from Sister White’s teachings. Do not misrepresent me, but seek to give influence by your course of action. Ever be true, open, sincere, and frank. All affectation despise. Keep yourself aloof from young men. Let them know that there is one girl who will not be crazy and bewildered at their first notice and attentions. I want you to be prepared to travel with me and help me, if I want you.
(DG 160.2)
You see those who have married cease their improvement and settle down to a dwarfed life. Be not afraid to tell me your whole mind and to seek counsel, and I will give you all the help I can. But above everything else, preserve self-control and a self-possession and womanly ways without appearing to know everything. Do not claim to know too much. Be modest in conversation, for people will be disgusted if a young girl talks as if she knew a great deal. You may evidence your wisdom by works, but do not do this by words and self-praise. Be cautious, discreet, and humble.
(DG 160.3)
We want to learn daily in the school of Christ. Now, my dear daughter, I have written you much more than I expected to write, but I may not get a chance to write very soon again.
(DG 160.4)
I am glad you do not live in Italy, at least in this valley, for women and girls have a hard lot. They work very hard, and fourteen hours per day, and obtain less than twenty cents per day. We need missionaries all through this valley. There are men who live high, who are paid as missionaries, but who do nothing in missionary work. They eat and drink and have a good time. They are supported by societies from England.—Letter 28, 1885.
(DG 160.5)