〉 Chapter 15—Balance in the Life
Chapter 15—Balance in the Life
Although Ellen White used the word “intemperance” in some of her writings, in today’s language a preferable word might be “imbalance” or lack of balance in the life. The principles found in the following general counsel can be applied to any aspect of our lives, from recognizing our limitations in accepting extra responsibilities, to living a simpler lifestyle in order to ease the stress and strain of modern living, and finding time for the things that matter most. Again, most of this was written to men, but the principles apply equally. (DG 161.1)
Balance Necessary in Every Phase of Life
Balance Is a Principle of the Religious Life—Temperance in all things of this life is to be taught and practiced. Temperance in eating, drinking, sleeping, and dressing is one of the grand principles of the religious life. Truth brought into the sanctuary of the soul will guide in the treatment of the body. Nothing that concerns the health of the human agent is to be regarded with indifference. Our eternal welfare depends upon the use we make during this life of our time, strength, and influence.—Testimonies for the Church 6:375 (1900). (DG 161.2)
Lack of Balance Exhausts Vital Forces—Intemperance in eating and drinking, intemperance in labor, intemperance in almost everything, exists on every hand. Those who make great exertions to accomplish just so much work in a given time, and continue to labor when their judgment tells them they should rest, are never gainers. They are living on borrowed capital. They are expending the vital force which they will need at a future time. And when the energy they have so recklessly used is demanded, they fail for want of it. The physical strength is gone, the mental powers fail. They realize that they have met with a loss, but do not know what it is. Their time of need has come, but their physical resources are exhausted. Everyone who violates the laws of health must sometime be a sufferer to a greater or lesser degree. God has provided us with constitutional force, which will be needed at different periods of our life. If we recklessly exhaust this force by continual overtaxation, we shall sometime be losers. Our usefulness will be lessened, if not our life itself destroyed. (DG 161.3)
As a rule, the labor of the day should not be prolonged into the evening. If all the hours of the day are well improved, the work extended into the evening is so much extra, and the overtaxed system will suffer from the burden imposed upon it. I have been shown that those who do this often lose much more than they gain, for their energies are exhausted and they labor on nervous excitement. They may not realize any immediate injury, but they are surely undermining their constitution.—Counsels on Health, 99 (1890). (DG 162.1)
Caution Concerning Overwork—Remember that man must preserve his God-given talent of intelligence by keeping the physical machinery in harmonious action. Daily physical exercise is necessary to the enjoyment of health. It is not work but over work, without periods of rest, that breaks people down, endangering the life forces. Those who overwork soon reach the place where they work in a hopeless way. (DG 162.2)
The work done to the Lord is done in cheerfulness and with courage. God wants us to bring spirit and life and hopefulness into our work. Brain workers should give due attention to every part of the human machinery, equalizing the taxation. Physical and mental effort, wisely combined, will keep the whole man in a condition that makes him acceptable to God.... (DG 162.3)
Bring into the day’s work hopefulness, courage, and amiability. Do not overwork. Better far leave undone some of the things planned for the day’s work than to undo oneself and become overtaxed, losing the courage necessary for the performance of the tasks of the next day. Do not today violate the laws of nature, lest you lose your strength for the day to follow.—Mind, Character, and Personality 2:375, 376 (1903). (DG 162.4)
Proper Periods of Rest Needful—There is danger that the women connected with the work will be required to labor too hard without proper periods of rest. Such severe taxation should not be brought upon the workers. Some will not injure themselves, but others, who are conscientious, will certainly overwork. Periods of rest are necessary for all, especially women.—Evangelism, 494 (1896). (DG 163.1)
Well-balanced Minds—All the powers of the mind should be called into use and developed, in order for men and women to have well-balanced minds. The world is full of one-sided men and women, who have become such because one set of their faculties was cultivated, while others were dwarfed from inaction. The education of most youth is a failure. They overstudy, while they neglect that which pertains to practical business life. Men and women become parents without considering their responsibilities, and their offspring sink lower in the scale of human deficiency than they themselves. Thus the race is fast degenerating.—Counsels on Health, 179 (1872). (DG 163.2)
Wise Improvement of Talents a Blessing—There must be no burying of our talents in the earth, to corrode through inaction. A persistent indulgence of self, a refusal to exercise our God-given abilities, will insure our eternal separation from God, the loss of an eternity of bliss. These gifts are bestowed upon us in accordance with our ability to use them, and the wise improvement of each will prove a blessing to us, and will bring glory to God. Every gift gratefully received is a link in the chain which binds us to heaven.—The Signs of the Times, August 18, 1898. (DG 163.3)
Balance in Time Management Necessary
Must Give Strict Account of Our Time—Our time belongs to God. Every moment is His, and we are under the most solemn obligation to improve it to His glory. Of no talent He has given will He require a more strict account than of our time.—Christ’s Object Lessons, 342 (1900). (DG 163.4)
Balance Watching and Working for the Coming of the Lord—When we give ourselves unreservedly to the Lord, the simple, commonplace duties of home life will be seen in their true importance, and we shall perform them in accordance with the will of God. We are to be vigilant, watching for the coming of the Son of man; and we must also be diligent; working as well as waiting is required; there must be a union of the two. This will balance the Christian character, making it well developed, symmetrical. We should not feel that we are to neglect everything else, and give ourselves up to meditation, study, or prayer; neither are we to be full of bustle and hurry and work, to the neglect of personal piety. Waiting and watching and working are to be blended. “Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord.”—The Review and Herald, September 15, 1891. (DG 163.5)
Self-Improvement
Do Not Neglect Opportunities for Improvement—If the worker has consecrated himself fully to God and is diligent in prayer for strength and heavenly wisdom, the grace of Christ will be his teacher, and he will overcome his defects and become more and more intelligent in the things of God. But let none take license from this to be indolent, to squander time and opportunities, and neglect the training that is essential in order to become efficient. The Lord is not pleased with those who, having had opportunities to obtain knowledge, neglect to improve the privileges placed within their reach.—Counsels to Parents, Teachers, and Students, 510 (1893). (DG 164.1)
“Little Things” Make Life a Success—It is conscientious attention to what the world terms “little things” that makes life a success. Little deeds of charity, little acts of self-denial, speaking simple words of helpfulness, watching against little sins—this is Christianity. A grateful acknowledgment of daily blessings, a wise improvement of daily opportunities, a diligent cultivation of entrusted talents—this is what the Master calls for.—The Youth’s Instructor, January 17, 1901. (DG 164.2)
Letter to a Self-Centered Woman
The following letter was written to Mrs. Sidney Brownsberger, a miserable woman whose life was unbalanced because of her selfishness and lack of self-control. (DG 164.3)
Dear Sister Brownsberger, (DG 164)
I have written some things for you while the camp meeting was in session, but as I repeated to you some of these things, I did not write them. But again my mind is burdened. I feel the deepest pity and sympathy for you because you think you know all about yourself. [You] will take a fixed position that no one understands you and that you are peculiar in temperament and disposition. You must acknowledge that the Lord is better acquainted with you than you are with yourself. At the time of the camp meeting I felt intensely that you should be blessed and comforted and strengthened, which would give you happiness, peace, and true Christian enjoyment daily. (DG 164.4)
In order for this to be the case, I knew you must have clearer views of yourself and of your duties than you had ever had hitherto in your life. I knew that you must be a truly converted woman, and this is the very thing you have argued against, as though no change could take place with you—you must remain just as you were. Now this is all a delusion. Unless a very great change shall take place with you, unless you overcome self and selfishness, unless these peculiar traits of character which you have cherished are overcome, you will have a defective, spotted character which will find no place in Christ’s pure and perfect and holy kingdom. The work is before you and me, and all who win eternal life must overcome every fault, every error, every defect in character. (DG 165.1)
Do you have a sense that you are selfish, that your thoughts are allowed to center upon self? You must have things your own way, and unless you do, you are perfectly miserable. Your husband is more attentive to you than most men to their wives. He has done the very things for you which you should in no case have had him do, that you yourself could and should have done as your part of the work; but because they were not as pleasant, not as agreeable, you have been glad to have him do them, when it would have been for your good to do these things for yourself. I now fear greatly for you. (DG 165.2)
Your present condition will be made by you an excuse for you to lay your weight very heavily upon your husband. Your marked traits of character will appear; your thoughts and sympathies will be centered on yourself, not because in your peculiar situation you suffer more than a large class of women, but because you think more upon the matter; your imagination will be active, and you will forget that others pass through the same without a complaint, without sympathy, without conveniences. (DG 165.3)
You have, my sister, but little self-control and do not exercise the strong will you possess to hold in control your own thoughts and your own feelings. You give way to your feelings when things do not go to suit you; you have, in short, hysterics. Is this necessary? I saw it was not, but [that] your condition utterly forbids anything of the kind. You need to hold your feelings with a firm will and never allow these nervous spasms to get the victory over you. You may ask, How can I do this? By thoughtful self-control. Your feelings fret terribly if things do not go according to your mind. You are not thinking how much perplexity and anxiety and distress you bring upon your husband, and you throw your whole weight upon him as though it was your privilege and duty, when it is the education you need to be self-sufficient and unselfish, to look upon and regard others as well as yourself. This lesson you must learn. (DG 166.1)
You need not have one of the spasms. You are educating yourself [so] that they will become a fearful reality, second nature; and when the pains of childbirth shall come, these will come upon you and the conditions that produce them will be beyond your control. But you can now control these conditions and need not have them any more than I need to be thus afflicted. It rests with yourself whether you will be a happy or unhappy woman. (DG 166.2)
You should be what God would have you—a self-reliant woman. I tell you now in the fear of God that you must be less self-caring. You seem to think no inconvenience or taxation must come upon you, but many women no stronger than yourself, to whom the common duties of domestic life are fully as distasteful as to you, bravely take up these duties and bear them uncomplainingly because it is given them as their work. Deeds of kindness, charity, and love to others will make you one with Christ and take your mind from yourself. (DG 166.3)
The prejudice of education is yours, but you cannot enjoy wholeness of character, which is true sanctification, unless you steadily and earnestly discipline yourself. It will not be a debasement to you to do many things in domestic life you do not now touch. God wants you to feel the responsibility of being a comfort and blessing to your husband as well as to expect him to be a comfort and blessing to you. (DG 166.4)
Get your mind off yourself; be uncomplaining; be cheerful. There is no reason you should not be cheerful, no reason gratitude should not dwell in your heart although you are in the situation you are. It is no disgrace to have children, and the mother by her own course of action may determine the health and disposition of her children. (DG 167.1)
I entreat of you to hide in Jesus, to be His own true child, walking in love and obedience to all His requirements, exemplifying in your life the character of Jesus—tender and thoughtful of others, considering them just as good and just as deserving as yourself of conveniences and comforts and happiness. This you have not done. Self has been put first, and others’ pleasure, taste, and happiness have come second. Now, this is not as it should be, although it is natural. (DG 167.2)
If she is ever to enter heaven, there is a work Florida must do for herself that no one can do for her. What kind of a heaven would it be to you if you could enter there with all these peculiarities which you earnestly argue against the possibility of overcoming? Will it be necessary for the Lord to remove your husband by death, to send adversity upon you in removing your children, to deprive you of blessings which you now have in order to call you to your true senses and refine and polish you [so] that you will become self-forgetful, patient, unmurmuring, and thankful? I write to you now because I have been shown the many excuses pregnant women make for the perversity of temper, which is all the temptation of Satan. God will give grace if you pursue the course of a Bible Christian. (DG 167.3)
You will feel bad, I know, over this letter, but I dare not withhold it. Your work now is to love God supremely and your neighbor as yourself. Be just as considerate and thoughtful in regard to your neighbor as you are in regard to yourself. We must not be so wrapped in self that we fail to put ourselves in the position of others and fail to make their case our own. There are others just as sensitive as your are, just as refined in taste, and who have excellent intellect, who dislike the disagreeable little duties of life which somebody must do. Share these responsibilities with them and forget Florida in the interest you take in others’ happiness. Do what you can to lighten the burden of others in any capacity, and do not be wrapped up in selfishness. (DG 167.4)
This you may feel is severe, but it is just as God has presented the case to me, and for some reason I feel His Spirit moving upon me to rise at three o’clock in the morning and write it. You may through faith in Christ become strong, self-reliant, and useful. But I tell you, Florida, in the name of Jesus, you need not have one of these nervous spasms which call for so great extra labor and bring such fear, such anxiety and true distress, upon your husband. He cannot endure everything; he is mortal, as well as you are. God claims the talents He has lent him. He cannot make a success in his work and have health and vigor of mind unless you, his wife, shall take up your lifework and help him as only a wife can. You can be the greatest load a man can carry, or you can be a blessing. It is in your power to break down and destroy the courage of your husband by your own ways and your own actions, or you may strengthen and build him up. Let Jesus into the soul temple to preside there, and all things will then be after the order of God. (DG 168.1)
I do not write you because I do not love you. I write because I love you. You are the purchase of the blood of Christ. I want that you should perfect Christian character. The great respect which you cherish for self creates a moral deformity. You will never perfect Christian character until you think less of self and have a better opinion of others. You should not try to excuse yourself from coming in contact with obstacles and overcoming them. You will become strong in spiritual sinew and muscle by lifting responsibilities. You argue your own feebleness too much and shun the very things which will give you strength. (DG 168.2)
Religion is an active, working principle, and furnishes a stamina sufficient for the stern realities of life. Religion even has power to restrain and control self, to overcome sharp hereditary tendencies. It has a true transforming power upon life, modulating the character. Christ was a worker; He toiled for a livelihood, working in the carpenter’s shop. Thus He ennobled and dignified even common labor. Now, my sister, intelligence and education are never designed to make ordinary labor disgusting and disinteresting or distasteful. Even the most common duties of domestic life may be elevated and dignified. (DG 168.3)
Religion ever imparts power to its possessor to restrain, control, and balance the character and intellect and emotions. It has a power to persuade, entreat, and command with divine authority all the ability and affections. Religion—oh, I wish we all understood its workings! It lays us under the weightiest obligations. As we connect ourselves with Christ we solemnly pledge ourselves to walk as Christ walked. Whether we eat or drink or whatsoever we do, all must be done with self out of sight and God’s glory in view. Every act of ours has its influence upon others, therefore every thought and every motive is to be under the control of the Spirit of God. (DG 169.1)
Our notions, our peculiarities, are wholly human and must not be humored or indulged. Self is to be crucified, not now and then, but daily, and the physical, mental, and spiritual must be subordinate to the will of God. The glory of God, the perfection of Christian character, is to be the aim, the purpose of our life. Christ’s followers must imitate Christ in disposition. The Pattern is given us to copy, and no excuse will be accepted of God as a reason for not meeting the divine standard, however contrary it may be to our own nature, our own selfish desires and inclinations. Like Christ is the watchword, not like your father or your mother, but like Jesus Christ—hid in Christ, clothed with Christ’s righteousness, imbued with the Spirit of Christ. (DG 169.2)
All the peculiarities given us as an inheritance or acquired by indulgence or through erroneous education must be thoroughly overcome, decidedly resisted. Love of esteem and pride of opinion, all must be brought to the sacrifice. They must be overcome. There is no compromise to be made with the enemy of righteousness. (DG 169.3)
The conflict will be hard and wearisome, but Jesus is our helper; in Him and through Him we must conquer, however severe the process. God requires no less of you than this. Every one of His children must be like Christ, who lived not to please Himself. Symmetry of character we must have in order to stand before the Son of man. The grace of God is waiting your demand upon it. If you ask Him, He will give you grace and strength as you need it. (DG 169.4)
That which you term sensitiveness is pride that will not bear contradiction. Self must be disciplined, guarded, and controlled. The most becoming dignity you can possess is the Christian self-control that will endure provocation. The religion of Christ will bind and restrain every unholy passion, will stimulate to energy, to self-discipline and industry even in the matters of homely, everyday life, leading us to learn economy, tact, self-denial, and to endure even privation without a murmur. The Spirit of Christ in the heart will be revealed in the character, will develop noble qualities and powers. “My grace is sufficient,” says Christ. (DG 169.5)
Your wishes, your will, will be often crossed, but you should not be discouraged. Jesus loves you and He wants you to be happy even in this life and to be a light in the world. I wish you could see, and our people could see, what they may be and what they may become. God will work with your efforts. Tests will come to us daily in trials and disappointments, and the true character is developed. Those who cannot endure the vexations and crosses of life will utterly fail when the sterner trials shall open upon them. Jesus wants you to be happy, but you cannot be happy in having your own way and following the impulse of your own heart. (DG 170.1)
God wants you and your husband to set an example to others worthy of imitation. You can do this, or He would never require it of you. Your help is in God.—Letter 25, 1882. (DG 170.2)