You have been sympathized with too much. To relieve you from all responsibility has been a very great mistake. Nearly all your thoughts are now upon yourself. You are fretful, and your mind dwells upon sad things, and pictures your condition as very bad, and you are even settling it in your mind that you can never get well unless you are married. In your present state of mind you are not fit to marry. There is no one who would wish you in your present helpless, useless condition. If one should fancy he loved you, he would be worthless; for no sensible man could think for a moment of placing his affections upon so useless an object. (2T 324.1) MC VC

The sad, gloomy state of your mind, which leads you to weep and feel that life is not desirable, is the result of allowing your thoughts to run in an impure channel, upon forbidden subjects, while you indulge habits that are steadily and surely undermining your constitution and preparing you for premature decay. It would have been far better for you had you never gone to -----. Your stay there injured you. You dwelt upon your infirmities, and mingled in society which was corrupting in its influence. Miss C was a corrupt, evil-minded woman. Her association with you increased the evil which was already upon you. “Evil communications corrupt good manners.” 1 Corinthians 15:33. At the present time your condition is not acceptable in the sight of God; yet you imagine that you have no desire to live. But should you be taken at your expressed wish, and your life cease, your case would be hopeless indeed. You are neither prepared for this world nor the next. (2T 324.2) MC VC