Soon we took passage in the steamboat at Portland for Boston. The boat rolled fearfully, and the waves dashed into the cabin windows. The large chandelier fell to the floor with a crash. The table was prepared for breakfast, but the dishes were thrown upon the floor. There was great fear in the ladies’ cabin. Some were confessing their sins, and crying to God for mercy. Some were calling upon the Virgin Mary to keep them. Others were making solemn vows to God that if they reached land they would devote their lives to God. It was a scene of terror and confusion. One lady in the berth above me, as the boat rocked, fell out of her berth to the floor, crying out at the top of her voice. Another turned to me and asked, “Are you not terrified? I suppose it is a fact that we may never reach land.” I told her I had made Christ my refuge, and if my work was done, I might as well lie in the bottom of the ocean as in any other place; but if my work was not done, all the waters of the ocean could not drown me. My trust was in God, that he would bring us safe to land if it was for his glory. (2SG 85.1) MC VC

At this time I prized the Christian’s hope. This scene brought vividly to my mind the day of the Lord’s fierce anger, when the storm of his wrath will come upon the poor sinner. Then there will be bitter cries and tears, and confession of sin, and pleading for mercy; but all too late. “Because I have called and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded; but ye have set at naught all my counsel, and would none of my reproof; I also will laugh at your calamity, I will mock when your fear cometh. (2SG 86.1) MC VC

Through the mercy of God we were all landed safe. But some of the passengers who manifested so much fear in the storm, made no reference to it, only to make light of their fears. The one who had so solemnly promised that if she was preserved to see land she would be a Christian, as she left the boat mockingly cried out, “Glory to God, I am glad to step on land again.” I asked her to go back a few hours, and remember her vows to God. She turned from me with a sneer. (2SG 86.2) MC VC

I was forcibly reminded of death-bed repentance. Some who serve themselves and Satan all their life, as sickness subdues them, and a fearful uncertainty is before them, manifest some sorrow for sin, and perhaps say they are willing to die, and their friends make themselves believe they were converted and fitted for heaven. But if they should recover, would they not be as rebellious as ever? I am reminded of Proverbs 1:27, 28. “When your fear cometh as desolation and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you, then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me.” (2SG 86.3) MC VC

August 26th, 1847, our eldest son, Henry Nichols White, was born. In October Bro. and Sr. Howland kindly offered us a part of their dwelling, which we gladly accepted, and commenced housekeeping with borrowed articles. We were poor and saw close times. My husband worked at handling stone on the Rail-road, which wore the skin on his fingers through, and the blood started in many places. We had resolved not to be dependent, but support ourselves, and have wherewith to help others. But we were not prospered. My husband worked very hard, but could not get what was due him for his labor. Bro. and Sr. H. freely divided with us whenever they could; but they were in close circumstances. They fully believed the first and second messages, and they generously imparted of their substance to forward the work, until they were dependent on their daily labor. (2SG 87.1) MC VC

My husband changed his labor, and with his axe went into the woods to chop. He worked from early morning till dark, with a continual pain in his side, to earn about fifty cents a day. He was prevented from sleeping nights by severe pain. We endeavored to keep up good courage and trust in the Lord. I did not murmur. In the morning I felt grateful to God that he had preserved me through another night, and at night I was thankful that he had kept me through another day. (2SG 88.1) MC VC

Our provisions were gone, and husband went to his employer to get money or provisions. It was a stormy day. He walked three miles and back, passed through the village of Brunswick where he had often lectured, with a bag of provisions on his back, tied in different apartments. As he entered the house very weary, my heart sunk within me. My first feelings were that God had forsaken us. I said to my husband, Have we come to this? Has the Lord left us? I could not restrain my tears, and wept aloud for hours, until I fainted. Prayer was offered in my behalf. When I breathed again, I felt the cheering influence of the Spirit of God. I regretted that I had sunk under discouragement. We desire to follow Christ and be like him; but we shun trials and remain at a distance from him. Suffering and trials bring us nigh to Jesus. The furnace consumes the dross and brightens the gold. (2SG 88.2) MC VC