Excessive labor, care, and anxiety, a lack of proper and nourishing food, and exposure to cold in our long winter journeys, were too much for my husband, and he sank under the burden. He became so weak that he could scarcely walk to the printing office. Our faith was tried to the utmost. We had willingly endured privation, toil, and suffering, yet our motives were misinterpreted, and we were regarded with distrust and jealousy. Few of those for whose good we had suffered, seemed to appreciate our efforts.
(LS 140.1)
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We were too much troubled to sleep or rest. The hours in which we should have been refreshed with sleep, were often spent in answering long communications occasioned by envy. Many hours, while others were sleeping, we spent in agonizing tears, and mourning before the Lord. At length my husband said: “Wife, it is of no use to try to struggle on any longer. These things are crushing me, and will soon carry me to the grave. I cannot go any farther. I have written a note for the paper, stating that I shall publish no more.” As he stepped out of the door to carry the note to the printing office, I fainted. He came back and prayed for me. His prayer was answered, and I was relieved.
(LS 140.2)
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The next morning, while at family prayer, I was taken off in vision and was instructed concerning these matters. I saw that my husband must not give up the paper, for Satan was trying to drive him to take just such a step, and was working through agents to do this. I was shown that we must continue to publish, and the Lord would sustain us.
(LS 140.3)
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We soon received urgent invitations to hold conferences in different States, and decided to attend general gatherings at Boston, Mass.; Rocky Hill, Conn.; Camden and West Milton, N. Y. These were all meetings of labor, but very profitable to our scattered brethren.
(LS 141.1)
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We tarried at Ballston Spa a number of weeks, until we became settled in regard to publishing at “Saratoga Springs”. Then we rented a house and sent for Brother and Sister Stephen Belden and Sister Bonfoey, who was then in Maine taking care of little Edson, and with borrowed household stuff began housekeeping. Here my husband published the second volume of the Advent Review and Sabbath Herald.
(LS 141.2)
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Sister Annie Smith, who now sleeps in Jesus, came to live with us and assist in the work. Her help was needed. My husband expressed his feelings at this time in a letter to Brother Howland, dated February 20, 1852, as follows: “We are unusually well, all but myself. I cannot long endure the labors of traveling and the care of publishing. Wednesday night we worked until two o’clock in the morning, folding and wrapping No. 12 of the Review and Herald; then I retired and coughed till daylight. Pray for me. The cause is prospering gloriously. Perhaps the Lord will not have need of me longer, and will let me rest in the grave. I hope to be free from the paper. I have stood by it in extreme adversity; and now when its friends are many, I feel free to leave it, if some one can be found who will take it. I hope my way will be made clear. May the Lord direct.”
(LS 141.3)
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