Proof of the Call to the Ministry Topsham, Maine September 24, 1859 This manuscript is published in entirety in 21MR 13-16. See also Annotations.
I was shown the state of things in Vermont. Their condition is not pleasing to God. They should have order among them, and have everything done up exact, straight, and square. There is too much leaving things at loose ends, and I saw there has been too much leaving the important truths to dwell on little things. There has been a stiff, unbending spirit with some in Vermont, and a desire to bend others to their ideas or notions.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 1)
There has been a moving by feeling, and neglecting the living principles. Dwell on the great principles of our faith, and do not descend to the little particulars. There has been a fault-finding spirit, a watching others that there should not be. I saw that brethren in Vermont must change their course. They must not move from impulse, but from principle.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 2)
I was shown the case of the brethren who feel that God has a work for them in the field, Brethren Bean and Evans. If God has called them, the weight and burden of the message will rest in power upon them, and their gift will not be exercised among believers only, but the great burden of their work will be to go out in new fields and raise up a company to keep the truth. But I saw that these brethren had not understood their work fully. God has not called them to give themselves unreservedly to the work. O no, they can assist in the work and do errands for the Lord, but they should not feel to throw themselves on the church as messengers or as called and chosen servants of Jesus to travel from place to place, or state to state, to labor and preach. Their time should not be occupied visiting the different churches; they do not good this way in travelling from church to church. The churches generally are just as well off without them. They have a duty to do in case ministers are absent, to baptize or administer the ordinances. It is pleasant to visit the brethren and churches of Sabbath keepers, but still the church is just as well off without such laborers, unless they have a special message to deliver. These should be careful of their time when they are not on a special errand for God [and] labor with their hands, [doing] the thing that is good.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 3)
Both of these brethren can be of use in their place, but they have thought the Lord has laid more upon them than He has. Brethren in Vermont should be careful and wait until the Lord lays the burden on men before they encourage them to labor. Even if the Lord designs to use individuals, the brethren are in danger of hurrying them along, hurting them by encouraging them too much. They should be left to work their way along, and let God fit them for the work. Let them come along with the deep weight of the work upon them. Some are entirely spoiled by being hurried into the field before the Lord has prepared them for going. Let them endure some hardships and obtain an experience in the work. Those who do not devote their whole time to labor in new fields, and carry the truth, should labor with their hands, and do what they can to supply their own necessities.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 4)
I saw that those whom the Holy Spirit and the brethren have set apart to the work will have something to carry, and as they have the burden and weight of the message, they will give unmistakable evidence of their calling. They will not be content merely to travel among the churches, but God will give them the burden to go out in other places where the truth has not been preached, and bring out individuals or a company into the truth. They should not enter into other men’s labors and build on other men’s foundations.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 5)
This evidence will the Lord give His church if He has called men into the field in visiting the different churches. The churches are generally just as well off without these laborers. They have a duty to do, and in case ministers are absent, to baptize or administer the ordinances. I saw that especially Bro. Bean should be careful of his time when he has not a special errand to do for the Lord. He should labor with his hands, [doing] the thing that is good. He can be of use in his place. He has thought the Lord has laid more upon him than He has.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 6)
Brethren should be careful and know that the Lord has laid burdens upon men before they encourage them in the field. Even if the Lord is fitting up individuals, the brethren are in danger of hurrying them along and hurting them. They should be left to work their way through and let the Lord fit them for the work. Let them come along with a deep weight of the work upon them, let them endure some hardships, some severe trials, and obtain an experience in the work. Those who are able and are not especially called of God to devote themselves entirely to the work of teaching the truth, should labor with their hands and supply their own necessities.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 7)
I saw that those who by the sanction of the brethren and the Holy Spirit are set apart to the work will have something to carry, and as they have the burden and weight of the message, will give unmistakable evidence of their calling. They can not be content to travel among their brethren, but they will be burdened to go out into new places, and bring out individuals into the truth; and if those who have strength, work and preach, it will not require their influence at all, but give them better success. This evidence will God give those whom He has especially called. They will feel such burden for souls, such yearning for others out of the truth, they can but listen to His teachings, and with the Lord with them, they will convince souls.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 8)
But some are too easy who think they are called of God; they enter into other men’s labors, and build on other men’s foundations. Bro. Pierce the Lord has blessed and given freedom of speech; he should [not] be handing out his means to help others, but should seek to save his wife care and labor. He should study her convenience and comfort, but should not hand out his means at present. His time is money. His labor is needed in the field, and he must take a different course from what he has.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 9)
Bro. Phillips has the gift of exhortation. He can do good, but he lets feeling govern him too much. He should lift when the work goes hard and he is not called to devote his time, but can fill in here and there. When he is not especially engaged in the work of God, [he] should be economical of his time, should not seek to be eased while others are burdened and have all they can do to get along.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 10)
Brother Evans can do errands for God, can interest a congregation, but can not travel extensively or be a thorough laborer. I was shown the case of Brother Bingham. He has a good gift, and can do good, fill in here and there, but his labors can not tell unless he has corresponding works. He is not careful studying how he can best approach individuals, but broaches the subject abruptly, and injures his influence, and the cause he loves. I saw that he should labor at home to set a holy, godly example, be patient, be kind and tender to his relatives and friends, especially his wife and children. His good influence should tell in the neighborhood. He must not have a driving spirit, but a winning one. He can not drive souls into the truth but he can win them much more successfully than he can drive.
(1LtMs, Ms 1, 1859, 11)
Ms 1a, 1859
The Cause in Vermont NP August 1859 Previously unpublished. See also Annotations.
I was shown the state of things in Vermont. They should have order among them and have everything done up exact, straight and square. There is too much leaving things at loose ends. There should be order in regard to appointing meetings, and an understanding [of] who is to labor in these meetings. There should be a perfect understanding that the help is sufficient to carry through these meetings in a right way, that the congregation should be held, and that interest should exist all through the meeting. I saw that rather than to appoint meetings and the efforts be feeble and the gifts such as not to interest, it would be better not to have such meetings, for the hearers judge the cause and the work to be all of one piece, and decide for error instead of truth.
(1LtMs, Ms 1a, 1859, 1)
I was shown that the churches in Vermont have been weakened by leaving the important truth to dwell on little things—to dwell on articles of dress and take notice of little things. There is a faultfinding spirit—neglecting their own soul’s interest to keep their brethren and sisters straight. They neglect the great principles of our faith to descend to little particulars. There has been a stiff, unbending spirit with some in Vermont and a desire to bend others to their ideas of right and to their notions, and they have been tried if other minds did not run in the same channel with their own concerning little things.
(1LtMs, Ms 1a, 1859, 2)
Feeling has governed some. They felt bad about this brother or that sister. They had on some article of dress, or there was some article of furniture in their house that you did not feel that they should have. But this does not concern you. Your feelings may be wrong. Dwell upon the important, saving truth, the great principles of our faith and religion, and then leave the brother or sister to the Lord and the angels to convict them of their wrong in dress or furniture or fixings. If they really love God and have extravagance about them, the Lord is just as willing to show them their wrong and convict them of their sin as He is to convict you, or somebody else, or lay a burden on some other one.
(1LtMs, Ms 1a, 1859, 3)
Preach the truth, and if the truth is received in the heart it will affect the receiver and purge wrongs from him. Don’t be in too great haste. Leave the Spirit of the Lord time to do its work, time to correct wrongs; then the individual has an experience that is worth everything to him. I saw that the brethren in Vermont must not move from impulse, but from principle; must not be governed by feeling or impressions, because they are liable to be deceived if they trust here or rely there. They must preach present truth straight, plain, and clear, and not come down from the important things to little things that do not concern them.
(1LtMs, Ms 1a, 1859, 4)
There must be a more strict attention paid by all to their own eternal welfare, to cultivate the good seed sown in their own heart, or before they are aware of it, while they are intently watching their brother or sister, poisonous weeds are choking the good seed in their own hearts. And are they then in a situation to remove or correct the wrong in their brethren? Oh no.
(1LtMs, Ms 1a, 1859, 5)
I saw that some, when reproved by the gifts God has placed in the church, immediately commence to retaliate, begin to watch to see if they can’t find something in an article of dress, in the instrument God uses—the reprover—or in others, to find fault with. They encourage a faultfinding, complaining spirit and bring the displeasure of God upon them more than it was before. They add sin to sin. Instead of putting away their wrong, they hide it or cover it by gratifying their carnal mind in accusing their brother or sister.
(1LtMs, Ms 1a, 1859, 6)
I have been shown the case of those brethren who feel that God has called them into His vineyard. If God has called them, the burden and weight of the work will rest upon them; they will feel the burden of the message with power, and they will not exercise their gift so much among believers who have an understanding of the truth but among those in new fields, laboring by every effort, by prayer and holy living and talking the truth, to raise up a company of Sabbathkeepers. They will not run much among the brethren, accomplishing but little.
(1LtMs, Ms 1a, 1859, 7)
I saw that some brethren have not fully understood their work. The Lord has not called them to give themselves up wholly or unreservedly to the work of teaching the truth to others. They can assist in the work, do errands for the Lord, but they should not throw themselves wholly on the church as called and chosen servants of Jesus Christ are required to. They are not called to travel extensively from state to state. [Manuscript is incomplete.]
(1LtMs, Ms 1a, 1859, 8)
Ms 2, 1859
Diary NP January 1, 1859 Portions of this manuscript are published in I’d Like to Ask Sister White. See also Annotations.
January 1. The commencement of another year. My husband went down into the water and buried seven with Christ in baptism; two of them were but children. One prayed earnestly in the water to be kept unspotted from the world. As Jesus was raised from the dead so the candidates were raised up out of the water. May they live a new life unto God. Will they be enabled to crucify self and imitate the self-denying life of Jesus?
(1LtMs, Ms 2, 1859, 1)
In the eve the church followed the example of their divine Lord. Said Jesus on the night that He was betrayed, “If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.... If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.”John 13:14-17.
(1LtMs, Ms 2, 1859, 2)
I was greatly blessed while engaged in washing the feet of my dear mother. It seemed to me to be the last time I should have the privilege. I felt called out to cry earnestly unto God that those weary feet might run in the way of God’s commandments, travel the whole length of the Christian road, and after her weary pilgrimage is ended, lay off her armor at the feet of her Redeemer, and finally stand upon the Mount Zion and walk the streets of gold. We wept together and that season will be long remembered.
(1LtMs, Ms 2, 1859, 3)
A holy solemnity pervaded the congregation. The place seemed awful and solemn on account of the presence of the Lord. After we had followed the example of our Lord in washing feet, we partook of the communion. It was an impressive scene as we called to mind the sufferings of our dear Saviour for our sins. Our hearts were deeply melted, and overflowed with gratitude and love to Him who had paid such a dear price to ransom us from the power of Satan and hopeless misery.
(1LtMs, Ms 2, 1859, 4)
Ms 3, 1859
Vision for James White NP 1859 Previously unpublished. See also Annotations.
I was shown in my last vision that God would have James give himself more to the study of the Word, labor more in word and doctrine, in speaking and writing. I was pointed back and saw that we had exhausted our energies in times past. Past anxiety and care had not been in vain. It was needed to bring the cause into a position where it would not languish and sink. Now the cause of God has strength. The tide of opposition is strong against it, but it has sufficient strength to stem this tide. Now such wearing labor, such privations, such agonizing to bring the church up, is not required of us; but James’ labors, in connection with mine, are to be spent in different places now and then, not to take the burden of the church—for they must bear their own burden—but to teach them God’s Word, the necessity of experimental religion, what it is, and the position they are called upon to occupy. This will be the labor for the church.
(1LtMs, Ms 3, 1859, 1)
And then I saw that the voice must be heard in the great congregation upon points of present truth, in clearness and with decision presenting to the hearers and before the readers of the Review, that whosoever will may come and be sanctified through the truth. From what I saw, there must be more consecration on our part, and we must live more in the light of God’s countenance. I saw that with his mind exercised more upon Bible truth James would be a better laborer. A little closer application will accustom the mind to dwell upon important truth.
(1LtMs, Ms 3, 1859, 2)
I was shown that God did not lay on us such heavy burdens as we have borne. Talk the truth to the church, show them the necessity of working for themselves. The church has been carried too much. I saw that the reason we were not required to go through hard, distressing places [and] bear heavy burdens, is because the Lord would have our voice tell, and we should be called upon when our help was actually needed. Our influence will be needed to overrule important moves that will be made. Errors occasionally will trouble the church, and our energies must not be exhausted so as to unfit us for the important occasions in which God would have us act a prominent part.
(1LtMs, Ms 3, 1859, 3)
I saw that our efforts have been crippled by the enemy, affecting the church to call forth from us almost double labor to cut our way through, then afterwards follows lassitude and lack of strength. Our efforts have been crippled in this way. I saw that we had a work to do. Sometimes the adversary would resist every effort we might attempt to make, and the condition of the people was not such that God could safely bless them. But I saw that we should go right along and not feel that we are responsible for the result of these different meetings. We do our duty, and if the result is not as we could wish, it should not discourage us and weaken our confidence. At times the power of God will distill upon the people, and the result of our labor be very encouraging. We must take an even course and then in the end we can accomplish much more good.
(1LtMs, Ms 3, 1859, 4)
I saw that we must have system, and plan that we may expend our strength to the best advantage. I saw that care should be used in praying and speaking, that we should not injure the speaking organs but we should command the voice, and by so doing the speaking organs will be preserved from weakness a greater length of time, and will be less liable to disease.
(1LtMs, Ms 3, 1859, 5)
Ms 4, 1859
The Case of Sister Cranson NP 1859 Previously unpublished. See also Annotations.
I was shown the case of Sister Cranson. I saw that she has not received that heartfelt sympathy that her case required. There are those who have not made her case their own. Some have seen the wrongs in her children and have not been as tender and careful of her feelings in the matter as they should have been, while at the same time those who have been more favorably situated have not half realized, and corrected as they should, their own children’s wrongs. Her widowed heart has had many solitary, desolate, agonizing hours that others have known nothing about. Many times she has cast herself away in her loneliness and been strongly tempted to make some hasty move which would have ruined her. Her loss is a living loss. But few have had any just sense of her discouragement and loneliness.
(1LtMs, Ms 4, 1859, 1)
I saw that there should be a difference made with the widow and others who are differently situated. It has troubled her, and lessened her confidence in her brethren because those who have labored for her required so high wages. It looked heartless to her. She should not have laid out her means in building. The matter should have been overruled by strong counsel and advice. The means used in that addition should have been saved to supply her with life’s necessities.
(1LtMs, Ms 4, 1859, 2)
Her husband wore out his life in trying to save souls, doing his Master’s business. He was self-denying, self-sacrificing, beloved of God. He died at his post. He had perfect confidence that if his wife and children could live near the brethren their influence would be saving, and their sympathy and care would partly make up for the loss they would sustain. She made a sacrifice in getting to Battle Creek. It has been well that she came. It has been a blessing to her, kept her from a greater evil; but it has not been half the blessing it might have proved if all had that interest and care for her that they should have felt.
(1LtMs, Ms 4, 1859, 3)
I saw that God has His eye upon the widows and fatherless. The church has not felt the obligations belonging to them. Sister Cranson has often distrusted God. Her faith has been weak. She has had too much fear of dependence, too much pride. But if some others, who now see her lack, were placed in her condition they would not do half as well as she has done.
(1LtMs, Ms 4, 1859, 4)
I saw that widows should ever be cared for, especially those whose husbands have devoted their strength to God and have fallen while engaged in His work. They should be regarded in a different light than even other widows, and duty rests upon the church and upon each individual in this matter, and great care should be taken to help strengthen and comfort the widows in their affliction.
(1LtMs, Ms 4, 1859, 5)
Ms 5, 1859
Diary, January to March 1859 Michigan January 1 - March 31, 1859 Portions of this manuscript are published in 2SM 337; 3SM 261-262; WM 322-325; 3MR 136-142; 4MR 437; 7MR 216-217; 1Bio 396-400. See also Annotations. [Battle Creek, Mich.,] Sabbath, January 1, 1859
It is the commencement of the new year. The Lord gave James liberty Sabbath afternoon in preaching upon the necessary preparation for baptism, and to partake of the Lord’s supper. There was much feeling in the congregation. At intermission, all repaired to the water, where seven followed their Lord in baptism. It was a powerful season and of the deepest interest. Two little sisters about eleven years old were baptized. One, Cornelia C., prayed in the water to be kept unspotted from the world.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 1)
In the eve the church followed the example of their Lord and washed one another’s feet, and then partook of the Lord’s supper. There was rejoicing and weeping in that house. The place was awful, and yet glorious, on account of the presence of the Lord.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 2)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, January 2, 1859
Sister Augusta Bognes was sent for to assist me to prepare for another journey. Made a coat for Edson. He will accompany us. We tried to comfort Augusta. She is cast down and discouraged; health poor, and no one to depend on. She has laid aside her armor and shield of faith. May the Lord strengthen the weak hands and confirm the feeble knees. Gave Sister Irving a warm cloak and dress and a few other things to make over for her.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 3)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, January 3, 1859
Went to the office; called in at Brother Loughborough’s and at my sister’s. Wrote seven pages to Doctor Naramore, then took dinner at my sister’s. Had a good interview with my father and mother. Went to the office again after dinner, and wrote four pages to Brother Orton’s family; also wrote four pages to Brother Howland’s family, and wrote to Sister Ashley, and Brother Collins’ family. Paid Widow Cranson $1.00 for making a couple of shirts. Paid Sister Bognes $1.00 for making a coat. She was unwilling to take it, but I felt it duty to hand it to her. She is poor and sickly. May the Lord pity and care for her. Said Jesus, The poor ye have always with you. May the Lord rid us of selfishness and help us to care for others’ woes and relieve them.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 4)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, January 4, 1859
Went to the office. Wrote a number of letters to different ones who were acquainted with our experience. Wished them to call up the events and write them to us. Wrote to Brother Hastings of New Ipswich, N.H., Brother Collins of Dartmouth, Mass., Noah Lunt of Portland, Me., and Brother Nichols of Dorchester, Mass. Wrote a vision given me for Brother Bates.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 5)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, January 5, 1859
Thought of remaining at home to prepare for my journey. At noon James said they needed help at the office. I went down to help them. There was a difficulty in the press. No papers to fold. All waiting for work. While waiting I wrote to Brother Benedict’s family. While [I was] busily engaged in writing, Sister McClemule came in. I must leave to talk with her. Jenny, Mother, and Willie came next. Showed them the press. Jenny and Mother spent the afternoon with Sister Smith. While [I was] folding, Sister Cornell came in and wished me to go down street to get some things for Roxanna. Walked down, got the things, returned to Brother Smith’s for supper, then home with Jenny, Mother, James, Edson, and Willie. Found Father very cheerful at home.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 6)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, January 6, 1859
Made a cap and a vest for Edson. At night am very weary. Gave Agnes [Irving] a half-worn dress paramatta for her mother. They are poor. The husband and father is sick. Their crops have failed. They have breadstuff to buy and nothing to buy with. Agnes is their main support. She is only seventeen. There are four children now at home. They must suffer unless the church interest themselves in their behalf. May the Lord have mercy upon the needy, and put it into His children’s hearts to dispense to them with a liberal hand.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 7)
[Otsego, Mich.,] Friday, January 7, 1859
Went to Otsego to Brother Leighton’s. It was a cold drive, yet we kept quite comfortable. Slept well that night.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 8)
[Otsego, Mich.,] Sabbath, January 8, 1859
It is the holy Sabbath. May we honor and glorify God today.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 9)
We went with Brother Leighton in his sleigh to Otsego, four miles. It was very cold; could hardly keep comfortable. Found the meetinghouse not very warm. All were so cold. Must take time to get warm. Brother Loughborough preached upon the judgment. Then I said a few words. Not very free. Then the church readily gave in their testimonies. Many of those who were Cranmer’s followers were present. They wished to know why there should be a division. They said the house of God was not divided; that as God was with us so He was with them, that Cranmer preached the same as Brother Loughborough preached. They sang a great deal, and we felt that it was time for us to speak. I said a few words, then John explained who had made the division. They seemed displeased. We felt freer.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 10)
[Otsego,] Sunday, January 9, 1859
Rested well last night, but feel a depression of spirits this morning. It is very cold today. Word has been brought to us that the Baptist meetinghouse has been locked up to keep us out. They do not hold meetings there themselves, neither will they let us enter.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 11)
We held meetings in Brother Russell’s house. The room was filled. A number of new ones were out to hear. John had much freedom. There was deep feeling in the meeting both forenoon and afternoon. The saints were strengthened. I had freedom in exhorting the people. Some wept aloud. Brother Hatten’s brother and his wife were present. They are not in present truth. They know not God. They seemed deeply affected. That meeting will be long remembered. Cranmer’s followers were present. The Lord gave us liberty and His salvation. We closed the meeting with the victory.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 12)
Monday, January 10, 1859
Left Brother Leighton’s Monday afternoon for Allegan. Was heartily received by Dr. Lay’s family. Sister Lay seems free. Had a pleasant interview with the family. The Lord met with us at our season of prayer, yet my spirits are somewhat depressed.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 13)
Tuesday, January 11, 1859
Went to Brother Rumery’s. Was well received. His brother’s wife was visiting with them. I never saw them in so good a state of mind as at this time. The Lord has been working for them. They feel more the spirit of present truth than I ever saw them have before. In the evening, Brother George Lay, his wife, and Sister Jones came. We had a very interesting interview, relating some of the interesting incidents of our eastern journey. We had a season of prayer before we parted. Brother Rumery prayed like a little child. Seemed to feel much for his children. The Spirit of the Lord was with us, and we felt that our interview was profitable.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 14)
Wednesday, January 12, 1859
Wednesday morn had a solemn season of prayer. Brother Rumery felt deeply. He again plead with God in great simplicity for his children. May the Lord answer the father’s prayers and give him his children to go with him. There is an improvement in the children. They obey more readily and the oldest boy seems more steady.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 15)
I went to Brother Thompson’s. Was gladly received, yet did not enjoy the visit; was unwell. Brother Kenyon has gone to Allegan. After supper I went to Brother Day’s. Had quite a good visit, yet do not feel in a visiting mood. My spirits are depressed. The snow is leaving us. Brother Day proposed to go to Otsego for our wagon, and save John the journey.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 16)
[Allegan (?), Mich.,] Thursday, January 13, 1859
Brother Day carried out his proposal. He started for Allegan. We rode with him as far as Brother Oren Jones’. We intended visiting them today. Found Sister Jones’ mother and sister there, and we drove on to Brother Leander’s. Brother Leander had gone hunting. Their little one is not well.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 17)
[Allegan (?), Mich.,] Friday, January 14, 1859
Expected James. A letter came that he is not coming because Brother Andrews was expected. The church are all disappointed, for Brother Fisher’s case has been a great trial, and they intended to take up his case and enter into an examination of things which have transpired. But now we know not what to do. May the Lord direct and give wisdom. He alone can straighten things here. Brother Jones returns—no success. There was meeting in the evening. The house was nearly filled. John [Loughborough] preached upon, “Whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate.” [Romans 8:29.] He had freedom. I then said a little upon the necessity of having decision of character, that the half-hearted and indifferent would be left behind. Those who choose eternal life will show it in their lives, and will at last obtain it.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 18)
[Allegan (?), Mich.,] Sabbath, January 15, 1859
The ground is again covered with snow. Brother John [Loughborough] preached upon the inheritance of the saints, giving the election doctrine a rub. The house was crowded. All listened with the greatest attention. In the afternoon I tried to talk a little. May the Lord bless my weak efforts to the good of some precious soul.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 19)
In the eve there was a church meeting to investigate Father Fisher’s case. He broke down a little. Made some confession, and was put upon probation, not to be acknowledged as a messenger, but as a learner of the third angel’s message. His heart is not in unison with us. He is far out of the way. The church is destined still to have trials with him.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 20)
[Allegan (?), Mich.,] Sunday, January 16, 1859
Am quite sick. Went to the meeting. Was so sick I was obliged to return home to Brother Leander’s. John [Loughborough] preached on the Sanctuary. Had a free time. Took dinner at Brother James Cornell’s. Brother Leighton was there and three Sister Fosters, and Sister McDonald was present. I felt so miserable I could not converse. In the afternoon I went to Brother George Lay’s. Met Brother Rumery there. It was snowing fast. Had quite a pleasant interview in the eve. But, Oh why am I so depressed, why so cast down and homesick? Have I departed from God, that I am thus left in darkness? Oh, restore unto me the joys of Thy salvation; then shall my lips praise Thee and my heart rejoice.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 21)
[Allegan (?), Mich.,] Monday, January 17, 1859
Felt better this morn. We remained at Brother George Lay’s through the day. We feel lonesome and sad. There is but little to cheer the spirits or make the heart glad. The case of Father Fisher lies heavily upon us all. Brother Inman from Wayland is here. It seems to me he has too much of the minister about him; he is given too much to talk; prays lengthy, and exhorts lengthy. Father Fisher read to him a long piece he had written against the visions. Brother Inman leaves us for his home.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 22)
Tuesday, January 18, 1859
Brother Lay harnessed his horses to a sleigh and took Mary, Edson, and myself over the log way and over the bad going ten miles to the plank road. The road is very bad and rough. John [Loughborough] followed us with the horses and wagon. We feel very thankful for the easy conveyance over the bad road. Sister Lay went with her husband for the ride. After we struck the plank, we had a good road all the way to Grand Rapids. Tarried with Brother James Cramer over night. Had a good visit with them. Brother Cramer is a cripple—caused by a fall from a building. I am so weary and lame through riding I cannot move without suffering pain.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 23)
Wednesday, January 19, 1859
Have slept but little through the night. A little daughter was born to add to Brother and Sister Cramer’s responsibilities. The mother and child are comfortable.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 24)
In the afternoon we went to Wright. Brother Cramer, the elder, took a seat in our carriage to pilot us. He is acquainted with the road. It is a good road. Have no milk for Teresa [Loughborough]. She cries. Oh, that we may be as earnest for the bread of life as she is for temporal food! She will not be satisfied. May our earnest cries go up to God for His salvation. About dark arrived at Brother Root’s. They welcomed us heartily. It is a good home with plenty of house room. Sister Root is in feeble health. There was a meeting in the evening. We were too weary to go. John and Brother Cramer went. Had a good meeting.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 25)
[Wright, Mich.,] Thursday, January 20, 1859
Rested well through the past night. Feel lonesome today. It is dark and rainy. This is an excellent family. In the afternoon, Brethren Frisbie and Rhodes came. Brother Frisbie informs us that my husband will not come. Am very sorry. Our labors should be together.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 26)
[Wright, Mich.,] Friday, January 21, 1859
Feel a little more cheerful in spirits. Meeting commenced today. The house was well filled. They came from Caledonia, Rome, Vergennes, Ionia.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 27)
Sabbath drawing on. Had a lengthy meeting in the afternoon and none in the evening. Many testimonies were given in. Many of them lacked the Spirit. I spoke a little; feel deeply my unworthiness.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 28)
I have felt so homesick on the journey. I fear that I have not been willing to sacrifice the company of my husband and children to do others good. I desire a willingness to make a whole sacrifice and crucify every selfish feeling. I feel a lack of the Spirit of God. Have had a weeping time before the Lord. And again while attempting to bear testimony in meeting, my heart was full. I could not refrain from weeping.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 29)
[Wright, Mich.,] Sabbath, January 22, 1859
This morning I have been pleading and wrestling with God. I have a gleam of light but this cannot satisfy me. I must know that my way pleases God. Went to the meeting with a heavy heart. Am much depressed in spirit. I fear my work has hindered me from communing with God as much as I should. There were about three hundred present—a very attentive congregation. Deep interest was manifested. Brother John Loughborough had freedom in talking. He dwelt on the inheritance of the saints. The same subject was continued in the afternoon. His tongue is like the pen of a ready writer. The people of God seem hungry for the bread of life. They eagerly devour every word that is spoken. I try to exhort; have not much liberty. Something holds me. Oh that [five illegible words] that confine me, and bear a testimony that will reach the heart. Meeting closed at five o’clock. No meeting in the evening. Quite a number tarry at Brother Root’s. Their prayers lack faith and energy; are dry and formal. And I am enveloped in clouds and am much discouraged. Oh, that I might come to the feet of Jesus and tell Him all my wants! I shall claim the promises of God through all my unworthiness. He will appear for me and set me free. My soul thirsteth for God. I long for His salvation.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 30)
[Wright,] Sunday, January 23, 1859
Meeting commenced at half past eight and the house was well filled. It was a prayer and conference meeting. The exhortations and prayers were more spirited. No time was lost. Two or three arose at once to speak. One sister arose three times and could not speak. Others would arise and she sat down. At length she gave it up. The conference meeting ended. Brother Loughborough gave an interesting discourse which would tend to wean the hearts of the people of God from earth, turn their attention from their trials, and cause them to work for the things which are unseen, which are eternal. There was a short intermission. Brother Loughborough again gave an interesting, appropriate discourse. I then followed in exhortation. Had freedom and victory, speaking of the life and sufferings of Christ and of His coming the second time, the Life-Giver to raise the dead and change the living.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 31)
In the evening Brother Frisbie preached upon the Sabbath. He did not have his usual liberty. Brother Loughborough said a few words and I followed, saying a few words, that none of us were compelled to receive salvation but we could receive it if we would. We could choose life or death. Many desire life but do not choose it. They love the world, its fashion, its pleasure, and they plainly show they have not chosen eternal life. Their treasure is here. This world is their home. The lives of those who choose life and salvation will be marked with their choice. Their conduct will say plainly that they are seeking a better country, even a heavenly, a city that hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. Our meetings closed this night.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 32)
[Grand Rapids, Mich.,] Monday, January 24, 1859
We rode to Grand Rapids to Brother Cramer’s, the elder. Many have stopped on their way home—a large company for whom to get dinner, but it passed off very agreeably. In the eve I went up to young Brother Cramer’s; had some conversation with them and then a season of prayer. I felt called out to pray for the elder Brother Cramer, who is deeply afflicted with ill health and lameness. Had some freedom in prayer. I believe he will be speedily strengthened to glorify God. We feel that our evening’s interview was profitable.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 33)
Tuesday, January 25, 1859
It looks like a storm. I feel rather cast down. My teeth troubled me through the night. We rode fourteen miles to Brother Hardy’s. Brother Cramer did not give us the right directions, and we went four miles out of our way. Did not arrive at Brother Hardy’s until dinner time. It was snowing fast. We were heartily welcomed by the family. A good dinner was soon in readiness for us, of which we thankfully partook. This is a colored family. Although the house is poor and old, everything is arranged with neatness and exact order. The children are well behaved, intelligent, and interesting. May I yet have a better acquaintance with this dear family. The meeting is four miles beyond Brother Hardy’s. They accompanied us to the meeting. It was held in a private house. Brother Loughborough talked for thirty minutes on the gift of the Spirit of God. Then I spoke of neatness and order.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 34)
Wednesday, January 26, 1859
Rested but little the past night. Brother Gerald is poor, yet with a warm heart. He welcomed us to his humble house and provided for us as well as he could.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 35)
It is a beautiful day. We feared we should be obliged to ride in a storm, but we have a very good road and everything seems favorable. We are homeward bound today and expect before night to meet husband and children. At noon took a dry luncheon at an old hotel, while the horses were feeding. Joyfully, we again met our family. Little Willie seems overjoyed to meet us again. Poor child, he has been very sick in my absence. Is now better but looks miserable. My husband has been sick, but the Lord has preserved their lives. With gratitude to God I take my place in my family again. There is no place to be so dearly prized as home.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 36)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, January 27, 1859
Rested but little the past night. Was so thankful and happy to meet my family again, and to be in the society of my husband and children, [that] I could not sleep. Have a headache through the day.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 37)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, January 28, 1859
Had the privilege of sitting at the table with my husband’s father and mother and my father and mother. We enjoyed the interview much.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 38)
[Battle Creek,] Saturday, January 29, 1859
Have spent a very restless night. My lungs are very sore. Every breath causes me pain. Cannot attend meeting today.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 39)
At noon Sister Kelsey came up to take dinner with us.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 40)
Wednesday, February 2, 1859
My lungs trouble me very much.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 41)
Thursday, February 3, 1859
Very sick all day with sick headache. Henry Pierce, from Monterey, was at our house. Sent Sister Leander Jones some things for her children and Jenny sent her her best bonnet. May the Lord enable us to see the wants of the poor and give us a ready and willing heart to supply them.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 42)
Friday, February 4, 1859
Health poor. Went to the stores with Brother Bates and Augusta Bognes. They purchased a coat for Brother Bates.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 43)
Saturday, February 5, 1859
Attended meeting all day. James preached twice. Had freedom. His text was, “This generation shall not pass, until all these things be fulfilled.” [Matthew 24:34.] In the afternoon I had a free time as I bore testimony. Brethren Carmen and Street tarried with us all night. They urge us strongly to come to their place.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 44)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, February 6, 1859
Visited my mother; obtained some facts in my experience.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 45)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, February 7, 1859
Sent a letter to my sister Mary [Foss] and one to Jane Seaman. Visited my mother in the afternoon; made her a cap. Had a conversation with Robert Holland in the evening. Sarah’s hired girl was sick.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 46)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, February 8, 1859
Wrote a letter to Sister Drusilla Lampson and Sister Mary Chase. In the afternoon visited Sister Lyon, in company with Mother White and Sister Ballou. Had quite a pleasant interview. Cut and made some caps for Mother. It may be the last time I shall have the privilege of making caps for her head, but my prayer is that she may wear a crown of glory in the kingdom of heaven. Brother Den has been thrown down and beaten by drunken men. Two men interfered. Brother Den complained of the men. They were shut up last night. They have their trial today. The same men struck my husband three times with a whip. Did not hurt him. The world is growing worse and worse. My prayer is, O Lord gather not my soul with sinners, nor my life with bloody men.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 47)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, February 9, 1859
Had a good season of family prayer. My soul hungers and thirsts for salvation and holiness of heart. My anxiety is great for my children. I was led out to cry earnestly to God for them that they may be subjects of His grace and heirs of salvation. Wrote my twin sister a letter, also one to my sister Mary and one to Brother and Sister Folsom.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 48)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, February 10, 1859
Am not well. In the forenoon Sister Harriet Smith visited us. In the afternoon Sister Kellogg came, and soon after Sister Grant, and spent the afternoon with us. In the eve Warren came up and I had some conversation with him. Some need to be held in with bit and bridle. It is hard for me to believe that such are Christians. They seem to have no responsibility but have to be entreated and carried upon the shoulders of others.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 49)
I cannot keep out of my mind the words of our Saviour, “Strait is the gate and narrow is the way that leadeth unto life, and few there be which find it; because wide is the gate and broad is the way that leadeth unto death, and many there be which go in thereat.” [Matthew 7:13, 14.] Who will choose Christ as his portion and be willing to suffer trial and affliction for His sake? Who will cheerfully endure the trials and without fretfulness make any required sacrifice? Oh, it is a great thing to know the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings; yet we must know this. We must so enter into the life of Christ that we can realize in a degree the great sacrifice made for us and consider that any privation or sacrifice that we can make to make others happy and to save souls is aiding in the plan of salvation. Thus we are coworkers with God, coworkers with His angels.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 50)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, February 11, 1859
Am not well. Unable to write. Keep my chamber nearly all day.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 51)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, February 12, 1859
Sabbath attended meeting all day. Brethren Charles Jones and Henry Pierce were present. My husband preached in the forenoon, How shall a young man cleanse his ways? etc. It seemed to be a right and proper subject, appropriate for the people. In the afternoon we had a conference meeting. It was a profitable time. The presence of the Lord was with us. Free testimonies were borne and all who have recently professed the truth bore their testimony. Agnes spoke. I never heard her before. Brother Jones and Brother Pierce tarried with us over the night.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 52)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, February 13, 1859
Have some little freedom in writing. My carpet was brought home today, and Sister Byington offers to give me the weaving of it. It is very kind in her. Do not know as I ought to accept it.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 53)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, February 19, 1859
The Lord was with us in meeting.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 54)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, February 21, 1859
Sent a letter of eight pages to Dr. Naramore and a couple of pages to Brother Orton.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 55)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, February 26, 1859
Had a good meeting. There was preaching in the forenoon and prayer and conference in the eve. It is encouraging to see those who have lately embraced the truth so ready to bear their testimony. May the Lord build them up in the most holy faith and strengthen them to run the whole length of the Christian road that they may obtain an everlasting victory, a rich and glorious reward.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 56)
My lungs are very painful. Every breath causes me distress. In the eve Brother and Sister Godsmark visited us to spend the night with us. I suffered so much pain I could not sit up. Unwillingly I retired. I was disappointed; had hoped to enjoy the society of these Christian friends. I passed through considerable suffering before sleeping.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 57)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, February 28, 1859
Mary Loughborough came here; stopped with us to dinner. Her baby was sick. In the afternoon went in to Sister Ratel’s. Had a pleasant interview. Her babe had on an old, torn, white dress—the best he has except one that she keeps to put on him when she goes out with him. She speaks of her children that died two years since. She does not wish them alive again. The family are all poor. The oldest girl much prizes a Bible I gave her. She reads out of it to her parents. Sister R’s health is very poor. Has spit blood. I fear she will not fill her place in her family long. She tries to do right. Her husband is a poor, wicked, passionate man and she has great trials. May the Lord sustain her. She begs us to pray for her that she may do right at all times.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 58)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, March 1, 1859
Walked to the office. Called to see Sister Sarah and Mother. Sarah gave me a little dress and two aprons for Sister Ratel’s babe. I then called on Sister Aurora Lockwood. Had a pleasant interview with her. She is a choice sister, beloved of God and highly respected of all the church.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 59)
I rode down to the city and purchased a few things. Bought a little dress for Sister Ratel’s babe. Came to the office, assisted them a little there and then came home to dinner. Sent the little articles to Sister Ratel. Mary Loughborough sends her another dress, so she will do very well now. Oh, that all knew the sweetness of giving to the poor, of helping do others good and make others happy! The Lord opened my heart to do all in my power to relieve those around me. Give me to feel my brother’s woe!
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 60)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, March 2, 1859
Unwell all day. Tried to write a little. Sister Kelsey and her son called on us. Sister Kelsey seems sad. She brought wheat to sell and it is musty. Cannot dispose of it. She needs means to use. We prepared her a warm meal and had her sit down and partake of it before starting for the thirteen-mile ride home. It is chilly weather. I lent her a cloak; feared she would suffer. I feel the deepest sympathy for this devoted widow. She has been a kind friend to us and in time of need has assisted us liberally. May the Lord abundantly bless the widow and be her God and husband, and be a God to the fatherless. I look upon my kind husband and see that God has dealt very mercifully with me in sparing to me my husband and dear children. Oh, my heart shall always be grateful for His rich mercy and loving kindness.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 61)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, March 3, 1859
My health is very poor. Am troubled with severe cramp in my side. Have some fear as to the result. I cannot stand straight, and walk with much pain and difficulty. Intended visiting the brother Dan [?] John. It is impossible to go. I feel a strange weakness. Gain some strength by taking a little tomato wine [juice].
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 62)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, March 4, 1859
I have a strong desire to get nearer to God. My heart pants after God, the living God. My time is employed in sewing. Made two caps for my boys. In the eve, at the commencement of the Sabbath, we assembled at Brother T. Meade’s to pray for him, that God would heal him of his disease. He is fast going down, and unless God in mercy raises him, he will go down into the grave. We had unusual freedom in prayer for Thomas. I was abundantly blessed. How precious the name of Jesus sounded to me. Brother John Andrews came to this city last night. We have met today and he took dinner with us. Has related particulars concerning his visit at R. We listened with great interest.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 63)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, March 5, 1859
Did not attend meeting today. My husband was sick. Have remained with him to wait upon him. The Lord met with us and blessed us this morn. I had unusual liberty in prayer. Brother John Andrews preached twice today. He spent the eve and night with us. We enjoyed the visit much.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 64)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, March 6, 1859
Had an interview with Martha Byington. Cut out a dress. We were perplexed; took it all to pieces and made it over. Spent the afternoon with [Mary] Loughborough; attended meeting in the eve. Had quite a free, interesting meeting. After it was time to close, the subject of voting was considered and dwelt upon. James first talked, then Brother Andrews talked and it was thought by them best to give their influence in favor of right and against wrong. They think it right to vote in favor of temperance men being in office in our city, instead of—by their silence—running the risk of having men of non-temperance put in office. Brother Hewitt told his experience of a few days, and is settled that it is right to cast his vote. Brother Hart talked well. Brother Lyon opposed. No other objected to voting, but Brother Kellogg begins to feel that it is right. Pleasant feelings exist among all the brethren. Oh, that they may all act in the fear of God. Men of intemperance have been in the office today, in a flattering manner expressing their approbation of the course of Sabbathkeepers in not voting, and expressing hope that they will stick to their course and, like the Quakers, not cast their vote. Satan and his evil angels are busy at this time and he has a work upon the earth. May Satan be disappointed, is my prayer.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 65)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, March 7, 1859
It is rainy today. It looks very gloomy without, but if the Sun of righteousness shines in my heart all is well and no outward appearance and gloom can make me sad. Today the votes are cast for town officers.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 66)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, March 8, 1859
It is a day when infirmities are striving for the victory. I suffer much pain in my left shoulder and lung. My spirits are depressed. Brother John Andrews leaves today. He came up to visit us in the eve. Had a pleasant interview. I got together a few things for him to take home. Send Angeline a new calico dress, nine shillings, and a stout pair of calfskin shoes. Father gives the making of the shoes and the making of a pair of boots for Brother John Andrews. I send the little boy a nice little flannel shirt and yarn to knit him a pair of stockings. I send Sister, or Mother, Andrews a nice large cape, well wadded, for her to wear. I made a bag to put them in, of towel cloth. Wrote three small pages to Sister Mary Chase. In it wrote recipe obtained from John’s.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 67)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, March 9, 1859
I suffer so much pain in my shoulder, lung, and my whole side, I can write but little. Wrote six small pages to Sarah Whipple.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 68)
I visited my mother. Made her a black cap. In the eve Sister Mary Meade came in, for husband and self to visit them and encourage Thomas. He is much cast down. His lungs trouble him much. James talked encouragingly, then we had a season of prayer. The Lord met with them and all are much encouraged.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 69)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, March 10, 1859
Walked to the city and back. Was very weary. Purchased John F. a pair of pants. In the afternoon Sister Irving came in. She looked sad and appeared to be chilled. Agnes [Irving] was much affected, as she noticed a little reluctance on the part of her mother to tell her how sick father was. She burst into tears and cried out in an earnest manner, “Ma, tell me how Pa is?” She had feared that he was dead. Her mother, deeply affected, told her he was failing slowly. Oh, what a scene I witnessed! The mother compelled to come to the daughter for her hard-earned wages to support a dying husband and father and four children. The mother’s feelings—entirely overcome as she feels her necessity and her reluctance to take all her daughter’s wages.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 70)
For ten weeks the daughter has lived with us and we have paid her nine shillings a week. All but one dollar of this she has handed to her mother. Her clothes are poor, yet she does not appropriate any means to her own use. She forgets herself in her self-sacrifice and devotion to her parents. It was as affecting a scene as I have ever witnessed. The reluctance of the mother to accept, through necessity, the wages—all the wages—of a daughter, and the willingness and freedom of the daughter to have all go to her poor afflicted parents.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 71)
The mother and daughter wept, and we wept. We aided them some. Paid half toward a pair of boots for a little brother—one dollar. I paid one dollar fifty for a pair of shoes for the mother. Husband gave her one dollar in money. Henry gave her ten cents, Edson ten cents, and little Willie ten. Husband gave her five dollars more to buy a few luxuries for the sick one. We parted with considerable half-worn clothing to make over. We put up one pint of rich grape wine [juice] and another pint of currant for the sick one, and sent a little handful of dried apples for the sick one’s table.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 72)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, March 11, 1859
It has been dark and stormy all day. It has rained and blown very hard. Husband has been preparing for a garden. Rather early spring. Large holes are prepared in the earth for the pieplant.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 73)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, March 12, 1859
Not able to attend meeting.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 74)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, March 15, 1859
Went to the office. Wrote two letters: one to J. Clark, Portage, three pages of foolscap; one to Paul Folsom, six pages of note paper.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 75)
Sister Decker sends in ten dollars to James [White] and Uriah [Smith] to apply where it is most needed. Applied two dollars to Sister Irving. William handed me one dollar to dispose of for her.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 76)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, March 16, 1859
Wrote a letter of six pages to Sister Decker.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 77)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, March 17, 1859
George, Agnes [Irving], and myself visited Brother Irving.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 78)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, March 18, 1859
Finished the arrangement of letters to the office.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 79)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath March 19, 1859
Attended meeting in the forenoon. Brother Loughborough preached with great liberty upon the sleep of the dead and the inheritance of the saints. Tarried at home in the afternoon. Read to my children, wrote a letter to Brother Newton and wife, encouraging them in spiritual things. In the evening attended meeting for communion and washing feet. Was not as free as I wished to be on such occasions. My teeth troubled me. Returned home before meeting closed.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 80)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, March 20, 1859
My health is very poor. Father and Mother are moving over their things today. Mary Ann, Brother Irving’s daughter, just returned from visiting her parents. They are somewhat anxious to get near the village of Battle Creek. Brother Thomas Meade came to our house. Stopped with us until his things were moved. I was surprised to see how fast he has run down. He is very weak. We must trust in God. If we look at appearances we should think his case hopeless, for he seems marked for the grave. Mary, his wife, took dinner with us. She is very worn and tired from moving, and then her husband’s weak state depresses her spirits. May the Lord spare Thomas to his family and to the church, is our earnest prayer. The arm of flesh cannot save him. The Lord is mighty to save. In Him we trust. We believe we shall not trust in vain.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 81)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, March 21, 1859
I suffer considerably in body, yet went down street to assist in buying Father and Mother things to keep house with. Returned home for dinner and finished the trading in the afternoon. I suffer much from weariness. Brother and Sister Grant came up with things for Brother Irving’s family. I have a sick headache. Was obliged to retire.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 82)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, March 23, 1859
Visited Brother Godsmark’s and met with a hearty reception. Had a prayer meeting in the eve, at the stated time of their prayer meeting. We had quite a refreshing season, although there were but a few.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 83)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, March 24, 1859
Arose early. Assisted my husband and Brother Richard in taking up a currant bush to plant in our garden. Sister Hulda rode down to Battle Creek with us. Brother Richard and Orville came on after with a load. We arrived at home two hours before they came. They took dinner with us. It is a cold, blustering day. Brother Richard and wife will suffer unless they are warmly clothed. I lend them cloak, mittens, and necktie to protect them. The weather is very changeable, but in the new earth there are no chilling winds, no disagreeable changes. The atmosphere is ever right and healthy. Father and Mother are contented in their new home. May the Lord give them peace of mind and continual refreshing from His divine presence.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 84)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, March 25, 1859
Finished John a pair of pants, and prepare a coat for Edson. In the evening, as we bow to implore the protection of our heavenly Father through the night, the Lord begat within me living cries after His salvation for Brother Thomas. I was made to feel that the Spirit maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Oh, how precious seemed the promises of God to us as our united cries were sent up for the restoration of our afflicted brother. Our trembling faith grasped the strong promises of God and we felt like agonizing like the importunate widow until our petition should be answered and our dear brother restored to health again.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 85)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, March 26, 1859
We arose early and walked down to see Brother Thomas. We learned that at the same hour that we were called out in prayer at home for Thomas that Brethren Kellogg and Smith were praying around his bedside, and the Lord met with the sick and strengthened him to praise His name with a loud voice. They all felt the sweet refreshing from the presence of the Lord. Thomas rested well through the night and we felt rejoiced at this token of good from the Lord. We had a praying season for our dear brother. The Lord met with and blessed him and us again and he praised the Lord for His great goodness. At half past one o’clock those connected with the office met together to pray for Thomas’ recovery. The Lord gave us a measure of freedom.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 86)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, March 27, 1859
Went to the office today to cover books. Sent out the things sent in for Brother Irving’s [family].
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 87)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, March 28, 1859
Covered, or made, a mattress for the lounge. Very weary. In the eve folded and prepared different signatures for different books.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 88)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, March 29, 1859
Quite unwell. Was obliged to rest in the forenoon. In the afternoon wrote three letters and had an interview with my father, which causes me much sadness of heart. They are going east. Father is a second child, but knows it not. In the eve, stitched one hundred books. While we were engaged at family prayer Brother Carmen came. Went out to Brother Irving’s. Returned in the eve. Brother Irving is a little more comfortable.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 89)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, March 30, 1859
Set out the raspberry bush. Went to Mr. Manchester’s for strawberry plants. Got some currant bushes. Brother Carmen left this morn. Brother John Farnsworth went with him. Thomas is no worse, but slowly improving. Praise the Lord for this manifestations of His loving kindness. We can truly say with the psalmist, “This poor man cried and the Lord heard him.” [Psalm 34:6.] “I also cried unto the Lord and He heard my prayer. Therefore, I will praise the Lord as long as I live.”
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 90)
Sent off three letters—one to Brother Nichols and one to Brother Howland, having one enclosed to Brother Foey, and one to Brother J. T. Orton.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 91)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, March 31, 1859
Planted a patch of strawberries. Sent a letter of twelve pages of note paper to my sister.
(1LtMs, Ms 5, 1859, 92)
Ms 5a, 1859
Diary [Mar. 10, 17] March 10, 1859 Copied from The Good Samaritan, 12/1859.
Ms 6, 1859
Diary, April to June 1859 NP April 1 - June 30, 1859 Portions of this manuscript are published in 3SM 262-263; WM 325; 3MR 142-143; 5MR 218; 7MR 217-218; 1Bio 404-406. See also Annotations. Friday, April 1, 1859
Went with our team fifty miles to Jackson. Enjoyed the ride. It is a beautiful day.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 1)
We see something which teaches us a lesson in almost everything around us. As we journeyed along we met a smooth, clever-looking dog; as he trotted along, we noticed a large, fierce, savage-looking dog standing by the roadside looking very fierce, waiting the coming of the clever-looking animal, ready to pounce upon him. We thought we would watch the result. Soon the little dog that was trotting along noticed his fierce companion and slacked his pace. He seemed to understand the nature of his enemy and he dared not run by, but in a most humble manner crawled along upon the ground. Thus he continued to crouch and crawl until he had come up to the fierce-looking dog, who immediately pounced upon him. The dog would not battle but rolled upon the ground in a begging manner. The big dog could not fight alone. He left the clever, pleading animal, who was still afraid of irritating him. So he walked along slowly, acting as though he wished to run but did not dare to. At length he increased his pace a little until he was sure he could outrun the other big dog; then he ran along as fast as he could go, looking back to see if the other followed. If human beings would only manifest such humility under injustice as this dumb creature, how many unhappy quarrels might be saved.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 2)
[Jackson, Mich.,] Sabbath, April 2, 1859
Brother Meade’s family came to the meeting. Also Brother Burwell and wife, and a near neighbor who has recently commenced to keep the Sabbath. May the Lord enable them, Brother and Sister Gregory, to persevere. They seem good. The meeting was profitable.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 3)
Nothing of particular interest occurs. In the even attend to the ordinances. My mind was particularly depressed. A horror of great darkness settled upon me. James felt it, also Brother Palmer. We commenced to follow the example of our dear Saviour to wash one another’s feet. While in this act the dark clouds parted and revealed to us again our Saviour. James and Brother Palmer were also set free. Our mourning is turned to rejoicing. We feel a peace of mind which is ever desirable to be felt by the Christian.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 4)
Sunday, April 3, 1859
Stayed at Jackson today. Visited Brother Gurney.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 5)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, April 4, 1859
It is cold and windy, yet we returned home. Took dinner at Brother Burwell’s. They gave us six dozen eggs, three chickens, and a few dried apples. Brother Burwell handed me one dollar for Brother Irving’s family, and Sister Palmer handed me $1.25 for Agnes [Irving] a dress.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 6)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, April 6, 1859
Finished covering the lounge. Sister Frisbie called upon me. She has been unwell. Is better today. We urged her to stop for supper. She consented. Sent the children a little cake. Louisa Bovee called in. Promised to call on her tomorrow afternoon a few hours. I have never yet visited her.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 7)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, April 7, 1859
Spent my time, two-thirds of the day, writing to Brother and Sister Church. Wrote six pages and half of note paper. In the afternoon visited Louisa Bovee for the first time. Had a profitable interview. After supper had a season of prayer. Felt something of the blessing of God while entreating His mercy and strength. I am opposed to afternoon visiting and chit-chat upon this, that, and the other thing, which imparts no spiritual strength to either party, the visitor or the receiver.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 8)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, April 8, 1859
Made my husband a neck stock. Set out strawberry plants. Went down into the city with Agnes [Irving] to purchase some necessary articles of dress for Agnes.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 9)
[Convis, Mich.] Sabbath, April 9, 1859
Rose early and rode about twelve miles to Convis to meet with the saints there. The ride was refreshing. Called at Brother Brackett’s. They accompanied us to the place of meeting, about two miles distant from his house. A little company of Sabbathkeepers were collected in a large, commodious schoolhouse. James had great freedom speaking to the people. I said a few words. Meeting held until about two o’clock. Nearly all bore testimony to the truth. After the meeting closed, a woman came to meeting; thought it was to be in the afternoon. She had walked a mile. She read the notice in the paper but did not read carefully enough to find out the time of meeting; therefore lost it all. After supper, as the hours of holy time were closing, we had a refreshing season of prayer. James talked with the children before bowing to pray.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 10)
Sunday, April 10, 1859
It is very rainy. Think it impossible to get to the meeting today. We will do what good we can in Brother Brackett’s family. Sister Smith, her husband and daughter, came half a mile to see us. Had some conversation upon the Sabbath. Brother Smith is convinced that the seventh day is the Sabbath, but the cross stands in his way. He fears his children. Oh, that the Lord would strengthen him to keep all His precepts and give him courage to acknowledge the truth, letting the Lord take care of the results. We feel that the day has been spent profitably.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 11)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, April 11, 1859
Spent most of the day making a garden for my children. Feel willing to make home as pleasant for them as I can, that home may be the pleasantest place of any to them.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 12)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, April 12, 1859
Continued to make garden. Went down to Sister Benedict’s for some plants. My heart is called out in sympathy for them. I know they are poor and Brother Benedict is very feeble; unable to work. The mother and the daughters are in feeble health. May the Lord pity them and may He live in the hearts of the church, is my prayer.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 13)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, April 13, 1859
Went down to Sister Fults’ [?]. Sent her a bottle of wine. She gave me some plants for my children. Obtained some sage roots; divided with her.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 14)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, April 14, 1859
Very windy; keep close indoors today.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 15)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, April 15, 1859
Write extracts of a letter to Doctor Naramore. Send Sister Benedict a present of $1.30, for favors received of them. Put up Brother Benedict one pint of currant wine and one pint of grape [juice]. May the Lord bless the afflicted is my prayer. My heart aches for the needy.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 16)
[Ceresco, Mich.,] Sabbath, April 16, 1859
Rode seven miles to Ceresco, to attend a meeting with the brethren. The meeting was comforting to the church. The Lord met with us and we were all refreshed. Praise His dear name. After meeting closed, took supper with Brother Hide’s family. Then rode to Brother Byington’s and to Glover’s. Had a good interview with them. Sabbath afternoon engaged in prayer for Martha [Byington] whom we found much reduced with fever and ague. The Lord truly met with us. Martha was blessed and strengthened. James was powerfully moved upon by the Spirit of the Lord. Brother Byington appeared cold and unfeeling. His heart is too much wrapped up in the things of this world. In the eve engaged in prayer at Brother Glover’s. The Lord gave us a sweet peaceful season. Brother Glover prayed so sweetly; his heart all melted by the sweet influence of the Spirit of God. Sister Glover’s health is not good.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 17)
Sunday, April 17, 1859
Again visited Brother Byington. Had a good, sociable time with the family, but Brother Byington is cold and cloudy. His heart is all on this world. The Lord pity and bless him. My husband is afflicted with an ulcered tooth. It was snowing. Cleared off. At noon concluded to venture to the meeting. There were but few out. Husband talked in pain. We then rode home seven miles.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 18)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, April 18, 1859
Husband’s tooth still very painful. My heart troubles me much. A collection of water around it. Am much pressed for breath. Received a number of excellent letters. One from Mary Chase. Husband received one from John White. I received one from Emily Brissee [?]. I have long wanted to hear from Emily. She still holds on to the truth. Her husband is converted; keeps the Sabbath with her. Received a letter from Brother Orton.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 19)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, April 19, 1859
My heart still troubles me. There seems to be a heavy weight upon it. In the eve Brother Hilliard came with his wife and seven children. We are glad to see them and we keep them over night.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 20)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, April 20, 1859
Brother Hilliard’s family left for their new home at Otsego. May the Lord counsel them, is my prayer. Mary Loughborough and Carrie Carpenter were here in the afternoon. Visited my mother, but am pressed for breath.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 21)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, April 21, 1859
Worked on a rug. Wrote a letter to Daniel Bourdeau. This morn there was a feeling of sympathy among certain of the flock for Brother Benedict’s family. We have contributed a mite for their relief—about seven dollars. Purchased them different things to eat, and carried it to them. Brother and Sister Benedict visited us all day. Had a very interesting and pleasant interview. My mother came to see me, which was a great comfort to me.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 22)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, April 22, 1859
Suffer for breath.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 23)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, April 23, 1859
Sister Brackett, Sister Lane [?] and her daughter, Sister Scott, and Sister Smith came from Convis to the meeting at Battle Creek. They took dinner at our house. Meeting was interesting through the day. Brother Waggoner preached in the forenoon. His discourse was appropriate. At intermission four were baptized—Sisters Hide, Scott, and Agnes Irving, and Brother Pratt. Our afternoon meeting was very interesting. My husband never had greater liberty. The Lord’s Spirit was in the meeting. The Lord gave me freedom in exhortation. In the eve the ordinances of the Lord’s house were attended to. It was a solemn, interesting occasion. I was unable to attend, being much exhausted.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 24)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, April 24, 1859
Brother Palmer and Brother Glover tarried with us last night.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 25)
For self, $2.00; for J. Facy [?], 81c; for Henry and Edson, $1.50; for James White, $1.42; for boys, 60c.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 26)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, April 25, 1859
Went to the office in the morning. Stayed through the day. Prepared an article for the Review, and wrote a short piece for the Instructor; read proof. Took dinner at Brother Cyrenius Smith’s. Had a pleasant little visit. Returned home quite tired.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 27)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, April 26, 1859
Worked hard all day on a dress to wear through the mud. Brother Benedict tried to borrow money to discharge a debt. Was unable to let him have it for that object, for necessity was in the office.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 28)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, April 27, 1859
Agnes [Irving] left for home today. Visited Mrs. Fults. Had a pleasant, friendly interview. She trembles as she sees the binding force of the law of God, yet she does not venture to obey. She is a strong-minded woman but keenly feels that her husband’s opposition will destroy the peace and harmony of the family. I pointed her up to God. There is One who has greater claims upon her than her husband, and Him above all should she fear to displease. She must follow the dictates of her own conscience, even if she has foes in her own household. She admits this, yet lacks strength from God to break away from old friends and associates to form new ones. May the Lord strengthen this trembling child to follow in the humble, self-denying path that Jesus has traveled.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 29)
Thursday, April 28, 1859
Up quite early and started on our journey. Roads are very bad. Traveled fifty miles. Were greatly exhausted when we reached Brother Gerould’s [in Caledonia] at night. Rested well through the night.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 30)
Friday, April 29, 1859
Again we started on [our] journey to Grand Rapids. Roads bad until we gained the plank. Took dinner at old Brother Cramer’s and continued our journey to Wright. Roads bad. Bridge swept away at Berlin. We are obliged to ford the stream; water up to the wagon box. It was hard, dangerous, climbing the bank on the other side of the stream. No accident befell us, which ought to call gratitude from our hearts. Arrived at Brother Root’s about six o’clock. Sister Root has a babe one week old. She is very smart. Sits up the most of the time.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 31)
[Wright, Mich.,] Sabbath, April 30, 1859
Attended meeting today. About 200 present. It was a good meeting. Husband preached upon the law of God in connection with baptism. A Mr. Palmer arose to ask a question which appeared to be merely to bring himself into notoriety and throw confusion, but no notice was taken of him. The meeting progressed. I exhorted a little, then others followed with their sweet testimonies.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 32)
[Wright,] Sunday, May 1, 1859
A good congregation. The Lord met with us in the afternoon and eve. The fore part of the day we were not idle. We called on Brother Tubbs. Spent a few hours in profitable conversation; then left to call on Brother and Sister Ferguson. They live in a splendid house. Have no children, and all things looked rather dreary and desolate. Yet we had a profitable season of conversation and prayer before parting with them. We next went to Brother McPherson’s [?]. We were heartily received and we enjoyed the interview with them much. They are open-hearted, sound people. This brother is also wealthy, but has it all in lands, for he cannot use much.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 33)
[Wright,] Monday, May 2, 1859
We met together again to break bread and wash the saints’ feet. It had never been practiced by them, but husband set the example to the men and I to the sisters, then all heartily engaged in it. It was an interesting occasion. The solemnity of the place made it still more profitable. There was weeping and rejoicing, humbling before God altogether. It was a season long to be remembered. Husband never talked more interestingly and appropriately than when breaking the bread, and sobs and groans were heard from the congregation.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 34)
Tuesday, May 3, 1859
Rode to Caledonia.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 35)
[Caledonia, Mich.,] Wednesday, May 4, 1859
Attended the ordinances in the afternoon. It is the first time they have ever attended to this exercise. It was a solemn, interesting season.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 36)
Thursday, May 5, 1859
Started on our way to Monterey. We are both weary and worn.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 37)
Friday, May 6, 1859
Rode from Dr. Lay’s to Monterey. Stopped at Brother Day’s.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 38)
[Monterey, Mich.,] Sabbath, May 7, 1859
In great weakness attended the meeting. Could not remain. Obliged to leave and lie down until dinner time. They got me wine and raw egg, which revived my strength some. Took a wet sheet pack.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 39)
Sunday, May 8, 1859
Rode to Otsego.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 40)
Monday, May 9, 1859
Looks like rain, yet we prepared to return home.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 41)
Tuesday, May 10, 1859
Very weary and sick.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 42)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, May 13, 1859
My heart troubles me much.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 43)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, May 14, 1859
Attended meeting in the forenoon. Brother Loughborough preached. It was an appropriate discourse. It enlightened my mind some concerning the message to the Laodiceans. Light seemed to break into my mind that since the message to the Laodiceans has gone forth the delay that we are now in is to develop character, to bring out what is in the heart, and separate the precious from the vile. The lukewarm are being spued out of the mouth of God. Oh, what came over me as I looked over the congregation and saw the sisters with their ruffles on, their bonnets covered with bows and ribbons. If this is the index to the heart, oh what pride dwells in those hearts! The sign is truly hung out. My soul is distressed and burdened. I could not forbear weeping. They profess to be working for Jesus to change their vile bodies and fashion them like unto His most glorious body, and yet what pride they manifest! May the Lord have mercy, is my prayer.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 44)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, May 15, 1859
Agnes Irving commenced work again. Attended meeting in the evening. Said a few things upon dress.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 45)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, May 16, 1859
Health poor. Pressed for breath. Have had strange symptoms. My tongue has grown numb.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 46)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, May 17, 1859
Went down to the city. Purchased a dress. Laid out for self, $2.75.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 47)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, May 18, 1859
Mother came to visit me. She appeared to be in better spirits than usual. Received two letters from Sophrona Peckham, giving an account of her husband’s death. He had only five days’ illness. She writes that he embraced the Sabbath before his sickness. She has hopes in his death. A letter from Sister Lizzie [Bangs], my twin, giving an account of my niece’s sickness. She is not expected to recover. My mother took her when but one year and a half old, and brought her up until she was sixteen. Brother Frisbie has a dispatch that his father was killed the day before at ten o’clock. He was brought home on the cars at noon.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 48)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, May 19, 1859
Miserable in health and depressed in spirits. My husband attended the funeral of old Brother Frisbie today, then he left Battle Creek to go in the cars to Allegan to attend his appointment. Oh, how desolate my heart feels! A strange sadness is upon me. I am so lonely, so distressed! Such a gloom rests upon everything. It seems that a heavy stone is placed upon my heart. Oh God, do not forsake me in my weakness and misery.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 49)
I sometimes think that my work is done, and feelings come over me that I am of no use, can do no good; and then it seems as though it would be a sweet relief to rest in the grave. Everywhere I look there is a lack of vital godliness, and my whole heart is sick. I shun company. It seems so hollow and heartless, no God or heaven in it. Oh, how I desire solitude! I love to be alone. My disposition has been trusting, confiding, but I have seen so many false hearts and friends, a mistrust and disgust has fallen upon me. I seem to have no power to break it.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 50)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, May 20, 1859
Have felt deeply today for my dear children. Prayed with them and for them. They may soon be left without a mother’s care. Disease is bearing me down. My heavenly Father alone knows my almost constant pain. I have found some relief in prayer today. It did seem that the Lord heard me and would pity me. I am sorry I feel so deeply and am so sensitive. But few can enter into or understand my feelings or trials. But God knows all. He is acquainted with the whole burdened heart. May the Lord be pleased to revive my courage, and lift up my desponding heart and water it with the dew of heaven, that it may flourish again. Have cut out Johnny and Willie each a pair of pants from three yards of cloth. Have pieced Willie’s considerably.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 51)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, May 21, 1859
Not able to go to meeting in the forenoon. Unable to sit up. Felt unable to attend in the afternoon, but resolved to go. Suffered much pain in my side while sitting. Brother Frisbie preached: “In such an hour as ye think not, the Son of Man cometh.” [Matthew 24:44.] After he sat down, Brother Bates talked well. Then I said a little about living up to our profession, having our dress correspond to our profession. I felt a solemn sense of what we should be who profess to be waiting for translation. The meeting was profitable.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 52)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, May 22, 1859
Feel a little better in body. In the afternoon Brother and Sister Lockwood visited me, also Sister Cornell and Sister Lyon. Had a very pleasant interview.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 53)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, May 23, 1859
My mother came to visit me. She seems quite cheerful. At noon my husband came unexpectedly. I was very glad to see him. My prayers have been for him, morning and night, that God would be with him and return him to us again in safety.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 54)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, May 24, 1859
Agnes [Irving] left for her home today. Wrote two short letters, one to Sophrona Peckham and one to my brother J. B. Harmon. He intends visiting us. Walked down to the office. Was much exhausted by the walk.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 55)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, May 25, 1859
Feel very languid. Oh, why is it that such gloom rests upon everything? Why can I not rise above this depression of spirit?
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 56)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, May 28, 1859
Attended meeting all day. Felt pressed in spirit to bear a straight testimony upon pride, love of fashion. God is separating His people from the world. He is purifying them unto Himself, and those who will not heed reproof, who choose to possess their own way, to manifest the evil passions of the heart, will be left behind. God will have a pure and a holy, self-denying, cross-bearing people. The message to the Laodiceans looks clearer to me. I see God will not do His work of spewing out until character is developed, His professed people proved, tested, and tried. Now God is proving His people to see if they will obey Him. “Be zealous ... and repent.” [Revelation 3:19.] If they will not, He will spew them out of His mouth. There are some among us of whom God will soon say, “Their sins shall not be cleansed with sacrifice or offering forever.” Like the house of Eli, a heavy curse will rest upon them. [1 Samuel 3:14.]
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 57)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, June 2, 1859
A company came from Moscow [?]. They tarried with us over night. We were very glad to see them. I am suffering with pain in my side and great depression of spirits.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 58)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, June 3, 1859
A number came from Monterey and stopped with us. Am sorry that I cannot enjoy their company. I have no health and my mind is completely depressed.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 59)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, June 4, 1859
Was very sick and much discouraged. Unable to attend meeting. All report that it was the best meeting they ever attended.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 60)
Sunday, June 5, 1859
Went to the tent for meeting. Was so feeble did not enjoy it much. The tent was well filled. Brother J. N. Loughborough preached in the forenoon on faith. It was a profitable discourse. J. N. Andrews preached in the afternoon upon the Sabbath, or rather the two laws. The attention of all was arrested and there was great attention. His exhortation was solemn and impressive.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 61)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, June 6, 1859
Attended meeting in the morning. It was a meeting of deep interest. I had opportunity to bear my testimony. It was the best meeting of all, and when the people left, all united in saying it was the best conference they ever attended. At dinner we had thirty-five.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 62)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, June 7, 1859
We were all much worn out.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 63)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, June 12, 1859
Sister Diantha came to help me sew. Her visit she thought was a benefit to her.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 64)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, June 14, 1859
Diantha helped them fold at the office.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 65)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, June 15, 1859
Diantha went home early in the afternoon. Brother Andrews, Uriah [Smith], and Harriet were visiting there.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 66)
Thursday, June 16, 1859
We rose early and rode to Brother and Sister Benedict’s.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 67)
Friday, June 17, 1859
Diantha left early to do a little job for herself. Brother Day came.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 68)
Sabbath, June 18, 1859
We went to the tent meeting at Marshall. After the meeting closed, rode to Brother Glover’s at Ceresco.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 69)
Sunday, June 19, 1859
Could not go to the tent meeting on account of rain. Took dinner at Brother Byington’s. Then Martha accompanied me to the Creek.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 70)
Monday, June 20, 1859
Was very sick all day.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 71)
Tuesday, June 21, 1859
Was a little better.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 72)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, June 22, 1859
Very unwell, yet Martha and self visited Sister Daigneau and Sister Ratelle. It was a profitable visit. They wished to get supper; we would not allow it. We do not believe in going to visit and taking up all the time preparing something to eat. We conversed upon our religious experience, then had a sweet, interesting season of prayer. We believe the Lord will go with Sister Ratelle as she moves in the country.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 73)
Thursday, June 30, 1859
Sister Cranson made me quite a long visit. We had a familiar conversation upon her situation. She is to be pitied. We helped her to some things.
(1LtMs, Ms 6, 1859, 74)
Ms 7, 1859
Diary, July to September 1859 NP July 1 - September 30, 1859 Portions of this manuscript are published in 3MR 143. See also Annotations. [Battle Creek,] Friday, July 1, 1859
Jenny and self walked down to the city. It was a tiresome walk.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 1)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, July 2, 1859
Had sinking turns. Suffered much all through the day.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 2)
Sunday, July 3, 1859
I was very weak.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 3)
Monday, July 4, 1859
Wrote nearly all day—important matter.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 4)
Tuesday, July 5, 1859
Was very weak in body.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 5)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, July 6, 1859
Rode down to the city with Mary Loughborough and my husband. Took our bonnets from the milliner.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 6)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, July 7, 1859
Went down to Brother and Sister Smith’s. Had some conversation with them upon a vision I had. Feel bad that they do not realize their state as it is.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 7)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, July 8, 1859
We had much to do today. Dried half a bushel of cherries.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 8)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, July 9, 1859
Had a strange sinking turn. Unable to attend meeting. Wrote to Brother and Sister Smith.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 9)
[Battle Creek,] Sunday, July 10, 1859
Wrote a number of letters to Sisters Harris, Abbey, Lowry, Churchill.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 10)
[Battle Creek,] Monday, July 11, 1859
Went to the office. Arranged James’ and my letters. Took dinner at Fletcher’s. Indians pitched their tents in Manchester Oaks.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 11)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, July 12, 1859
Rode down street. Traded some. Spent the rest of the day in writing. Met Brother Byington at Fletcher’s. He looked happier than I had seen him for months. Says after a week he is going out to labor for the Lord, and expects to be absent six months. Thank the Lord for this.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 12)
[Battle Creek,] Friday, July 22, 1859
My brother that I have not seen for twenty years came from Illinois with his wife to visit us.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 13)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, July 26, 1859
My brother leaves tonight at twelve o’clock. My father and mother accompany him.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 14)
[Battle Creek,] Wednesday, July 27, 1859
It seems very lonely today: Brother and Father and Mother gone. Perhaps we shall never meet them again. This makes me sad.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 15)
Went down street to purchase material to use in Brother Czechowski’s family. The merchant was kind enough to send her a dress.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 16)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, July 28, 1859
Went to the office; assisted my husband.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 17)
[Battle Creek,] Sabbath, July 30, 1859
Mother White is quite ill with dysentery. Took her to our own house to nurse her up. Husband preached twice today. The truth was set forth in a clear, powerful manner. His text was, “Preach the Word.” [2 Timothy 4:2.]
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 18)
[Battle Creek,] Tuesday, August 2, 1859
Brethren J. N. Andrews and J. N. Loughborough came from the tent meeting.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 19)
[Battle Creek,] Thursday, August 4, 1859
Mother is now able to go to her home again.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 20)
Wednesday, August 17, 1859
Left Battle Creek for Jackson on our eastern journey. Arrived at Jackson about two o’clock p.m. Found Brother Palmer’s family well. Had a praying season that eve. Felt like wrestling earnestly with God for the spirit of labor, and we had an assurance that our prayers would be answered.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 21)
Thursday, August 18, 1859
Awoke a little past two A.M. Took the cars at four. Feel very miserable. Wrote all day. Oh, what an exhibition of hoops! What pride and fashion! Surely hoops cannot be convenient in the cars. Our journey on the cars ended about six p.m. Found Brother Buckland and Cottrell waiting with covered carriages. We had a very easy conveyance to Brother Buckland’s, about five miles.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 22)
[Western New York,] Friday, August 19, 1859
They are coming in to the meetings. One hundred in the forenoon, above two hundred in the afternoon. Brother White preached forenoon and afternoon. Brother Cottrell in the evening. Have meeting in the evening.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 23)
Sunday, August 21, 1859
Large congregation. Good attention. Tent full. Some women with their rich silks and satins sit upon the ground just inside of the curtain. I preached from this text, “Preach the Word.” [Verse 2.]
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 24)
Monday, August 22, 1859
Left Brother Buckland’s for Albion. There took the cars for Rochester. Found Brother Orton waiting for us, and he took us to his home in his carriage.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 25)
Tuesday, August 23, 1859
Tarried with Brother Orton through the day. Traded in Rochester. Laura Seely came to Brother Orton’s. Poor afflicted soul!
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 26)
Wednesday, August 24, 1859
Left Rochester for Syracuse. There took the Omnibus for Central Square. Hired a conveyance for Roosevelt. Made our stopping place and home at Brother Sprague’s.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 27)
Thursday, August 25, 1859
Wrote to Brother Peabody. Was very weary.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 28)
[Roosevelt, N. Y.,] Friday, August 26, 1859
They are coming in to the meeting. Brother and Sister Wheeler are here. I am sick today. Had a meeting in the eve at the commencement of the Sabbath. It was a good meeting. Husband preached. There was a conference meeting appointed for the morning. I had opportunity to talk.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 29)
[Roosevelt,] Sabbath, August 27, 1859
They have a neat little meetinghouse. It was filled and crowded and many could not get in at all. In the afternoon they were obliged to give it up to the women and infirm and aged men. They drew up the wagons to the windows and the men filled them full. I had freedom in preaching.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 30)
[Roosevelt,] Sunday, August 28, 1859
The meeting was held in the tent.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 31)
Monday, August 29, 1859
Left Roosevelt for Volney. Rode in a lumber wagon. It was very wearisome.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 32)
[Volney, N. Y.,] Tuesday, August 30, 1859
Had a meeting in the schoolhouse. Bore my testimony after my husband preached.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 33)
Wednesday, August 31, 1859
Left Volney for Fulton [?], about five miles away. There took the cars for Syracuse and changed cars for Utica and again to Albany, and tarried at Springfield over night; lodging and breakfast cost $2.00.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 34)
Thursday, September 1, 1859
We again took the cars for Berlin, Connecticut. Arrived at Brother Belden’s before noon. They received us gladly.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 35)
Friday, September 2, 1859
Brother Sperry came from Vermont to consult James about meeting in Vermont. Great confusion about appointment. Brother Andrews Graham came to take us to visit his people. We did not enjoy the visit much. We were so perplexed to know how to correct the appointment. Took dinner with Brother Bruce Graham. Then went to William Graham’s. His wife is sick, confined to her bed. We had a praying season with her and left for Brother Belden’s.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 36)
[Kensington [?], Conn.,] Sabbath, September 3, 1859
Quite a number have collected together. Dear precious souls are among them who have endured many hardships, suffered affliction and anguish. Sister Chamberlain is dressed in deep mourning. We call up the severe afflictions she has suffered. Buried a child, a noble boy named Joseph, about four years old. Buried her husband with that dreadful disease, smallpox. Then buried a daughter, a young woman grown. Gave birth soon after to a pair of twins; at an early age buried one; another son died in Michigan. Her son Joseph, a sweet, interesting boy of eight years, was drowned. Jane, a young woman grown, died of consumption. Her afflicted heart was comforted by hearing the words spoken. She was greatly strengthened.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 37)
Monday, September 5, 1859
Left Connecticut for Springfield on our way to Boston. Arrived at Boston; took a hack for Hay Market Square. Then took the horse railroad for Somerville. Arrived at Brother Folsom’s about dark. Were received heartily by Brother and Sister Folsom.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 38)
[Somerville, Mass.,] Tuesday, September 6, 1859
Found myself quite well this morn. Spent a portion of the day writing. Wrote home to Henry, Jenny, and Willie. Wrote to Topsham, to Brother Sperry, and sent a letter to Brother Peabody, to Brother J. B. Harmon, and to Sister Sarah Belden.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 39)
Wednesday, September 7, 1859
Wrote a portion of the day. Made husband three collars. James went into Boston. Rode with brother Folsom to Salem. Returned about 9 o’clock p.m. In his absence, Brother Nichols came to see him. Was disappointed at his absence. Sister Folsom went out to trade. Returned about dark.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 40)
Thursday, September 8, 1859
Left Somerville for Salem at half past two o’clock p.m. Brother Saxby was not waiting for us. Took a carriage to his house. Brother and Sister Hutchins came to Brother Saxby’s in the eve.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 41)
[Salem, Mass.,] Friday, September 9, 1859
Some are coming in to the meeting. May the Lord bless His people and fit us up to do the work committed to us.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 42)
[Salem, Mass.,] Sabbath, September 10, 1859
More brethren out than we had expected to see. The meeting was held in the Lyceum Hall. It is strangely constructed, the seats arising from the platform. Every row of seats is one step higher or ascending. The pulpit or stand is raised only one step. A great many can be convened. Our meeting Sabbath was profitable and interesting. James preached on baptism, and that sin is the transgression of the law. I said a few words. Others gave in their exhortation. At two o’clock p.m. James preached again with liberty upon the unity of the church. I then talked upon the necessity of living out our profession and enduring temptation. No public meeting. In Brother S’s house for the church. James talked at length upon our acting in union to place ourselves in a position to hold property legally. Passed off with profit.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 43)
[Salem, Mass.,] Sunday, September 11, 1859
Prayer meeting in the morn. The church bore their testimony. Were quite free. As the people were collecting together, I exhorted the people. James preached in the morning, “Preach the Word,” etc. [2 Timothy 4:2.] In the afternoon finished the discourse. He was very clear. Many thought it was the most forcible discourse on the Sabbath they ever heard. The sofa was placed on the platform, on one side of the stand, and Sister Hutchins and self took our seats upon it. At the close of the afternoon discourse I again bore my testimony. Had some liberty. In the eve James preached again; dwelt upon the Lawgiver; was quite clear and free. There were about 175 present. Again I exhorted the people. Was free. The Lord gave me free utterance and when the series of meetings closed we felt we had done what we could. After the meeting closed, had some conversation with Sister Dana; related the wonderful dealings of God with me in past time.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 44)
Monday, September 12, 1859
My rest was much broken last night, yet I felt quite well this morn. We assembled for prayers. Husband talked before engaging in prayer upon the necessity of being kind, courteous, pitiful, of being of tender compassion to one another. Remarks were appropriate and instructive. James and Brother Nichols prayed. It was a sweet, precious season. We shall go to Somerville. Brother Saxby took his covered easy carriage and we rode sixteen miles to Somerville. Sister Saxby accompanied us. It was a pleasant ride.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 45)
[Somerville, Mass.,] Tuesday, September 13, 1859
Go into Boston to trade.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 46)
Wednesday, September 14, 1859
Go into Boston again to trade. Go to Brother Nichols’ to visit them. The girls are absent from home. Henry was at home. Amelia Hastings went with us.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 47)
Thursday, September 15, 1859
Brother Nichols took us with his conveyance into Boston to take the cars. We are at Brother Ashley’s. Are quite well. This seems to be a good home for us.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 48)
Friday, September 16, 1859
Early in the morn we walked to Sister Collins’, one mile. It seemed like home to get in their big kitchen again; but one we miss, who was well and active when we were here before. Brother Collins has sickened and died and has been borne away to the silent grave. His loss is deeply felt, not only by his family, but by all the church. This family only numbers two, the mother and her son. They love the truth. I call to mind the time when Gilbert was a boy of twelve years, was not expected to live, but we offered earnest prayer to God in his behalf. As we raised him from the bed in my arms, the great drops of perspiration stood on his brow. The Lord answered our prayer. He was restored to health; his hearing was restored.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 49)
[Dartmouth, Mass.,] Sabbath, September 17, 1859
It is rainy today. We fear some will be hindered from coming to meeting, but the Lord doeth all things well. The rain will result to His glory.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 50)
But few came out, but husband had good liberty in speaking.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 51)
Monday, September 19, 1859
Left Brother Ashley’s for Somerville. Arrived at Boston; found Brother Philipps waiting for us. He drove us into Boston. There we traded some. Then called at Brother Hale’s, of Charleston. Purchased shoes, then went on to Brother Folsom’s. Took dinner with them, and at three took the cars at Boston for Portland and Brunswick. As we arrived at Portland, we ascertained that the last train of cars had been taken off. We were disappointed. Took a carriage for Brother Lunt’s. Tarried with them overnight. Brother Lobdel [?] came in, in the eve. This hindrance cost us $1.50.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 52)
Tuesday, September 20, 1859
In morn took a carriage for cars. When we arrived at the Brunswick depot did not find a carriage there. I am waiting while my husband is gone to speak for a carriage.
(1LtMs, Ms 7, 1859, 53)
Ms 8, 1859
Diary, October to November 1859 NP October 10 - November 20, 1859 Portions of this manuscript are published in 3MR 144-145; 7MR 218. See also Annotations. Monday, October 10, 1859
We were awake quite early. Brother Pierce came for us quite early. Was obliged to shut myself up to write. The brethren are scattering to their homes. We rode to Brother Pierce’s, three miles. Climbed a mountain half a mile high. The house is full of company, but had no time to visit. Shut myself in the chamber to write.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 1)
Tuesday, October 11, 1859
Left Brother Pierce’s for Brother Grant’s. Took dinner at Brother Grant’s. Brother Howard waited for us to pack and then took us to his house. It was climb, climb the mountain. They have a very pleasant place on the top of the mountain. There is a level space and excellent tilling land. They are at some distance from neighbors. Sister Howard is afflicted with asthma. Her husband and children help her do her work.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 2)
Wednesday, October 12, 1859
We awoke at three o’clock and arose at four o’clock. Took breakfast at half past four. Attended prayers, then prepared for Brother Howard to take us to Northfield. Left Brother Howard’s at five a.m. Rode seven miles to Northfield, waited one hour. James sent a draft home and a little book to Willie. We are now on our way to St. Albans. Shall meet Brother Bourdeau there.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 3)
Friday, October 14, 1859
P.M. Left Brother Agustin Bourdeau’s. Have been very unwell. It has been very stormy. Feared we must go to the meeting in a storm. The distance is about ten miles. But the clouds disappeared and we had a pleasant time and started for the meeting. Had a much better time than we feared. Stopped at Brother Martin’s. We are very weary and retire early. Met at Brother Martin’s many friends who are dear to us.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 4)
Saturday, October 15, 1859
It is snowing very hard. We feel very thankful that we came on our way Friday. Many were coming to the meeting in the storm. We gathered at the meetinghouse—a large, commodious house. Met Brother Daniel Bourdeau on the steps of the meetinghouse. We were glad to meet him. He is very dear to us. James preached in the forenoon and afternoon. I bore my testimony. The Lord gave me liberty and power. The people seemed to feel. A Brother Howlett, an old Methodist minister, spoke. He spoke with fervor and intelligence. He was but a babe in the truth, but a big stream of truth poured from his lips and his whole being talked. Brother Stone, Brother Buck, and other brethren bore testimony.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 5)
Sunday, October 16, 1859
The storm is over. We tarried at Brother Martin’s. Last eve we had a conversation with a brother who is in trouble. He has once kept the Sabbath but was so persecuted by his own family he ceased to keep it, yet believed it. Now he feels God has left him. We tried to comfort him. He related to us that when he came to the meeting, his wife told him unless he would promise that he would not keep the Sabbath she would not live with him. He would not promise, and they lodged separately. Poor man, he has been much troubled. His wife’s father was very violent. Would strike him. His children joined them. But after his wife’s father had made a passionate threat against him, he suddenly fell sick, and he was called from the field to witness his sudden death. It is believed that the Lord removed him in His anger. We tried to comfort the poor, trembling brother. We know not how it will turn with him. He has, as it were, to deal with demons in his own family. Sunday night went with Brother Austin.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 6)
Tuesday, October 18, 1859
Had a blessed season of prayer with Brother and Sister Taylor, and his mother, and Brother and Sister Whipple, and Czechowski. After dinner Brother Taylor took us to the cars. We rode from twelve o’clock to five p.m. At Madrid, met Brother Henry Hilliard. He took us to his own comfortable home. A good warm supper was prepared for us. We met warm friends here. We are very weary but can rest.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 7)
[Bucksbridge, N. Y.,] Wednesday, October 19, 1859
It is cold and stormy. We sent to the village to get some cotton flannel to make us comfortable. Brother Haskell, his wife and daughter, Sister Claflin [?] and Sister Matthews came in from Norfolk on their way to attend the meeting. We took dinner together and then all together we started for the little meetinghouse at Bucksbridge. We were somewhat disappointed. The house is well filled. Brother W[hite] had liberty and with earnest, comforting, strengthening words, [and] cheered the little company. I had freedom talking of faith, showing the difference between faith and feeling. After the meeting closed, we returned home and sewed some. Am so unwell I cannot eat.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 8)
Thursday, October 20, 1859
Finds us at Brother Hilliard’s.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 9)
Friday, October 21, 1859
We rose at about four a.m. It was cold and snowy. We took a luncheon and started out in a storm for Madrid depot. Waited one hour for cars. Then took the cars for Pottsdam depot. Waited there one hour for the cars. While waiting a little boy was brought in who was afflicted with inflammation of the eyes. He bore his affliction very patiently. His eyes were screened with a shade and a thick lined veil. They were taking him to the doctors in Rochester to get aid.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 10)
We journeyed about twenty-five miles and the engine pump broke down, and we were obliged to wait two hours before starting again. By this delay we failed to make connection at Watertown and were obliged to wait in the depot eight hours. This was a great disappointment to us, for we should be out over the Sabbath; but others were also disappointed. There was one woman and her two brothers who were filled with grief. Their mother was dying; letters had been sent them, but were not received. Oh, what a world of sorrow, disappointment, and affliction we are living in!
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 11)
While waiting in the depot we became acquainted with a couple directly from Waukon. They bring sad news from Brother Thomas Meade. They give a sad report of him; he is failing fast.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 12)
Sabbath commenced. We tried to call our thoughts from the things around us to sacred things. We took the cars at about eight and rode twenty-five miles, and within two miles of the Depot Brother Belue [?] met us on the cars. They have been worried about us, fearing we could not come. He stepped on the cars, rode out two miles, and then found us and went back again. There was Brother Miles waiting for us to take us to his house.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 13)
[Mannsville [?], N. Y.,] Sabbath, October 22, 1859
It is pleasant weather. We had a season of prayer. Brother and Sister Miles once joined the Messenger [Party], and turned from us and sought to injure us, but now they sob out their repentant prayers and beg God to forgive them. Brother Miles took us to the meeting. The new house was filled. Some were obliged to stand in the entry. The Lord blessed us with liberty and freedom. James preached with freedom and I had freedom in exhortation. Our meeting was free all day. At noon we ate our luncheon at Brother Wilcox’s; took supper at Brother Miles’. After Sabbath quite a number came in to spend the evening.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 14)
Sunday, October 23, 1859
Again we repaired to the meetinghouse. The house was crowded again. Brother White preached with freedom; I followed with exhortation. The Lord gave me perfect freedom. The Spirit rested upon us. One aged sister gave vent to her feelings by shouting praise to God. Brethren Chase and Bailey also opened their mouths and glorified God. In the eve Brother White was free again and our meeting closed with victory. We tarried that night at Brother Janks’. He and family have embraced the truth since we were last there.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 15)
[Wright, Mich.,] Sabbath, November 12, 1859
It is stormy. We left Brother McPherson’s for Brother Root’s. Arranged ourselves for meeting. The meetinghouse was well filled. Brother John Loughborough preached in the forenoon, James in the afternoon. I followed in exhortation. Had freedom, speaking upon faith.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 16)
[Wright,] Sunday, November 13, 1859
The storm continues. We went to the meetinghouse. Brother Loughborough preached in the forenoon. Brother White in the afternoon. I followed in exhortation. Was free.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 17)
Monday, November 14, 1859
We rode to Grand Rapids, fourteen miles. The road is very rough and it is tedious to ride. Arrived at Grand Rapids about noon. Brethren Rumery, Day, Lay, Gray, Jones, and Loughborough are in company with us. A refreshing dinner was prepared for us; after dinner we visited Sister Cramer. In the eve the brethren all came to Brother Cramer’s, and had a good profitable interview, and a free season of prayer. It is stormy.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 18)
Tuesday, November 15, 1859
It is a beautiful day. We rose early and took our breakfast. Had a season of prayer and then started on our weary journey. The going is very rough. We broke one of the traces and were delayed a while. Changed carriages, and about noon tarried to rest the horses. Then took a little luncheon, and in one hour were on our way again to Monterey. The plank road is very rough, but for ten miles the road is very bad. Log ways, mud holes, and yet on we go, singing, “The road may be rough, but it cannot be long,” etc. As we came up to Brother G. Lay’s he stopped us and urged us to go in. We complied with his request and tarried with him over night.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 19)
Wednesday, November 16, 1859
We rose weary, lame, and sick. The journey was too much for us. Yet we wrote much of the day, and there we met my father, whom we have not seen for three months. Toward night we rode to Brother Day’s. Tarried there over night.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 20)
Thursday, November 17, 1859
Took breakfast at Brother Day’s, and took dinner at Brother H. Pierce’s. We then looked over Brother Bates’ house. Returned to Brother Day’s and found Sister M. C. Chen—[?] there. She has sold out and come to buy in Monterey. She will take one of two places, either Brother Leandro Jones’ or Brother H. Pierce’s.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 21)
Friday, November 18, 1859
Rose languid and weary. Took breakfast at Brother Oren Jones’. Left soon after prayers for Brother Day’s. James and self took a wet sheet pack. I wrote until near noon. Took dinner at Brother Day’s; just before the commencement of the Sabbath we went to Brother Leandro’s; tarry with them tonight.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 22)
[Monterey, Mich.,] Sabbath, November 19, 1859
Brother Loughborough preached. A large congregation assembled at the Monterey meetinghouse. The house was full—crowded. Our earnest prayer this morn has been, Give us the living testimony; let us feel the burden of Thy work, the weight of Thy cause, the worth of souls. Then will Thy people be renewed and strengthened, and those not right, those not in union with Thy church, will be reproved, corrected.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 23)
Brother White preached in the p.m. on the work, the success of the three messages. He was clear and free in his discourse. The Lord gave me liberty in speaking and referring to the travail of Elijah. Elisha would follow the man of God. Elijah said, Go back, Elisha; but, “No,” said he, “as the Lord liveth and as thy soul liveth I will not leave thee.” [2 Kings 2:2, 4, 6.] He would see the end of the matter. He followed on and he saw the fiery chariot and the glory and the mantle of Elijah fall upon Elisha. So those who will follow on with the people of God, suffer trials with them, press on with them, when the mighty angel descends from heaven, clothed with the panoply of heaven and gives strength to the third angel, the power of the message is felt by them. The heavenly showers fall on them. The latter rain drops in their vessels.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 24)
[Monterey,] Sunday, November 20, 1859
It is pleasant today, and there was a large gathering at the meetinghouse. They could not all get into the house. Brother John prayed. Brother White preached, finishing his subject upon the Messages. After he closed there was five minutes’ intermission. The house was so crowded it was very uncomfortable. Brother Loughborough is now preaching from the parable concerning a man going into a far country to receive to himself a kingdom and return, etc. Many are standing, for they can find no seats.
(1LtMs, Ms 8, 1859, 25)
Ms 9, 1859
Early Experiences in Meeting Fanaticism NP 1859 Portions of this manuscript are published in 2SG 49-52. See also Annotations.
[Probably from first draft of 2SG written 1858-1860, but recording experiences from 1845.]
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 1)
[I went] over to their house and there saw Sister Turner and bore my testimony to her which was to comfort her poor, sore heart. She was weeping as though her heart would break. She there confirmed the vision which I related to her. We learned from different ones that this one and that one had been set aside. Honest, precious souls had been told that they were rejected of God; that these fanatical persons had flocked to my father’s house and made that their stopping place. J. Turner and J. Howell were leaders in this rank fanaticism. They followed impressions and burdens that led to corruption instead of purity and holiness.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 2)
Our parents were disgusted as they saw reason and judgment laid aside by them, and impressions were carried out. They protested against it, and as they could not get rid of this company, they closed their house and left the city for Poland, where my two married sisters were living. This did not suit J. Turner and he told me when we arrived at Portland that my father was a doomed man. My mother and sisters might be saved, but my father would be lost. The only reason he offered was because he did not give him possession of his house when he left Portland. His denunciations were bitter. We visited Poland, where my parents were, and again from their mouth we heard the fulfillment of the vision given in New Hampshire.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 3)
I had been shown that they needed help in Orrington, and that we must go there, for fanaticism had done its work there also; that fanatical spirits had rushed on without judgment until unbelievers became disgusted with their course. These fanatical ones seemed to think that religion consisted in making a noise, being boisterous, rough, and talking in such a manner as to irritate and cause unbelievers to hate them, and then would rejoice that they suffered persecution. Unbelievers were enraged. They could see no consistency in this wild spirit and they made stringent rules that no advent believer should come into town. The innocent here suffered with the guilty. They could not have the privilege of assembling to encourage one another, for even the citizens of the place who were believers were denied this privilege. Sentinels were on the watch to hinder all who should attempt to enter the town. Yet the Lord bade me go. Naturally timid, I would gladly have been excused, but dared not take my own course. My life was not my own.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 4)
We first visited Brother S’s family in Orrington. They heartily welcomed us to their home and hearts. Every moment was precious to these hungry children and we sat up till a late hour recounting the trials we had passed through and the refreshing seasons we had enjoyed; and we deplored together the sad state of the cause. I bore a sad and aching heart. It seemed so cruel that the cause of Christ should be injured by injudicious men. Not only were the men injuring their own souls but placing a stigma upon the cause which would not be easily wiped away. Satan was willing to have it so. It suited well his satanic majesty to see the truth mixed with error and then altogether trampled in the dust. He looked with hellish triumph upon the confused, scattered state of God’s children.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 5)
Next morning as we were in the front room two men entered the door leading into the kitchen. Sister S. as she opened the front room door looked pale and motioned to us. We had no baggage. We put on our bonnets and stepped out of the front door. Just then there was quite a gathering at a meetinghouse near by, for it was fast (?) day. We passed on with the people and were not discovered.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 6)
The meetinghouse was in the direction of Brother B’s house, where we wished to call. Gladly were we received. We prayed and wept together. Brother B. said we need not fear being troubled in his house, for no one dared to dictate to him about who he should have in his family and who he should not. He had quite a war spirit against the course the citizens were pursuing. He was only partially in union with our people, but a portion of his family were fully with us.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 7)
We visited many of the brethren. We were hunted for, but the Lord always directed us out of their way to a place of safety, that, too, without the least effort on our part to conceal ourselves. We were engaged in doing the will of God, going from house to house to visit His tried children.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 8)
At one house we found them much afflicted. Their children were sick with measles. We prayed for them and the power of God rested upon us. We passed on to Brother W’s and then we rode two miles farther to visit a family in affliction. Sickness was in their dwelling. We prayed with them and the Lord again met with us and comforted us with His love.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 9)
As we rode to the last place we were noticed by several individuals, but we trusted ourselves in the hands of God. Through the earnest entreaty of a few brethren we visited a family that was in great error. A few months before they were standing in the clear light of truth, and we took sweet counsel together. Phebe Knapp, a young woman, was with them professing to have visions of God, yet teaching the grossest errors—that the resurrection of the dead had taken place already—and she warned the family she was with not to receive us into their house for we would oppose the truth, referring to the resurrection being past. She taught numerous other absurd errors.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 10)
As the family saw Sister Foss and myself coming they fastened the door against us. But we opened it, for the door was insecurely fastened. We entered the dwelling in the name of the Lord. Immediately Phebe Knapp fell to the floor in great apparent agony, crying to the family, “You are in danger, danger, danger.” I had a few moments of calm conversation with the family. I asked them why they showed me so much coldness. When we last parted with them a few months before our hearts were one. They had not seen me since, but I was the same; I believed just as I did. I asked who had changed? They had changed and not us. They had been influenced by the spirit of error. I told them they had received error which caused our separation. We loved them, but could have no union with their error.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 11)
I then went into the room where Phebe Knapp was groaning and crying out. I bowed in their midst and asked God to hear me, and for His own glory manifest Himself to these poor, deceived souls, and to show them that we had come to do them good, and to convince them of error, and give them evidence that this was a false burden, and rebuke it. P.K.’s burden left her immediately. After exhorting them faithfully and declaring to them their errors, we left them. I was free. I had performed a disagreeable task and the Lord had sustained me.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 12)
As Sister Foss and myself walked back we rejoiced in the Lord. The brethren and sisters had not ventured to meet together for some time, but nearly all came together and there was quite a company assembled. It was a time of solemnity, of rejoicing, and weeping. It is impossible to describe such a meeting. There was no noisy shouting, but a solemnity rested upon all. We were suspected of holding a meeting somewhere, and we afterwards learned that persons were sent to Brother W’s house to see if we were there, or if there was a meeting. At the time these two men came we were all bowed before God. There was no noise but a peaceful weeping spirit rested upon us. The windows were high so that none of us were noticed from the outside. The men went away satisfied that we were not there.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 13)
That night I was shown in vision that our work was done in Orrington, that we must leave by daybreak for men would come to take us and we should suffer abuse. There was but little sleeping that night, for we wished to speak encouragingly to each other as long as we could, for we knew not when we should meet again on earth. Some did not close their eyes that night, and early the next morning we were on our way. Two brethren took us in a rowboat to Camden, about five miles. We stepped on board the large steamboat and rode safely over the water to Portland. We received a letter from Brother W. stating that soon after daylight men came to his house for us, and were very angry when they found we had gone. They met the men who had taken us to the steamboat and whipped them, but their testimony was they scarcely felt the stripes.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 14)
As I returned to Portland evidence increased of the desolating effects of fanaticism in Maine. J. Turner labored to turn my friends and even my relatives against me, and he succeeded in a measure. And what was all this for? It was because I had faithfully told them what had been shown me concerning his fanatical course. And to justify himself he circulated falsehoods to destroy my influence. My lot seemed hard to bear. I sank in discouragement, and my mind wandered for two weeks. My relatives thought I could not live. But the brethren and sisters met together to pray for me. I was sensible to their earnest, effectual prayers. The power of the strong foe was broken, and I was released from his grasp and was immediately taken off in vision.
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 15)
In this view I saw that the opposition of man and a human influence should never afflict me again. If I felt an influence affecting my testimony I was to cry to God, wherever I should be, for another angel. One was guarding me continually and I should have another to strengthen me when it was necessary, and raise me above the power of any earthly influence. I saw then for the first time the glory of the new earth as follows. [Manuscript ends here. See Spiritual Gifts 2:52-55 for a description of Ellen White’s vision of the new earth.]
(1LtMs, Ms 9, 1859, 16)
Ms 10, 1859
Early Experiences in Meeting Fanaticism NP 1859 Portions of this manuscript are published in 2SG 46-50. See also Annotations.
[Edited copy of portions of Ms 9, 1859, written 1858-1860, but recording experiences from 1845.]
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 1)
[We visited Claremont, and] inquired for Adventists. We were told that there were two parties, one holding fast their past advent experience, the other had denied it. We stated that we wished to find those who had not denied their past experience, and were directed to Elders Bennet and Bellings whom they said believed as we did. They had so much to say against these two men that we concluded that they were “persecuted for righteousness’ sake.” [Matthew 5:10.] We called on them, and were received and treated kindly; yet a depression came upon me, and I felt that all was not right.
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 2)
Elder Bennet had the appearance of being a very holy man. He spoke upon the subject of faith, and said “that all we had to do was to believe, and what we asked of God would be given.” He also had much to say upon charity. Brother White answered, “Blessings are promised on conditions,” and quoted (John 15:7), “‘If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.’ Your theory of faith is empty as a flour barrel with both heads out. True charity is a very delicate personage, never stepping her foot out of the path of Bible truth.”
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 3)
In the afternoon we called at Brother Collier’s. We were to have a meeting that night at his house, and supposed they were in union with Elder Bennet. We questioned them about him, but could get no information. Said Brother C, “If the Lord has sent you here, you will find them out and tell us.”
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 4)
That evening as I was praying and reaching up by faith to claim the blessing of the Lord, Bennet and Billings began to groan and cry out, Amen! Amen! and threw their sympathy and influence in with my prayer. Brother White was much distressed. He arose and cried out, “I resist this spirit in the name of the Lord.” As I was speaking with freedom they commenced groaning and crying out, Amen! Amen! I had no union with them for their amens chilled me. Brother White felt their influence upon him again, and arose and in the name of the Lord rebuked their wicked spirit, and they were bound. They could not rise again that night.
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 5)
After the meeting closed, Brother White said, “Brother Collier, now I can tell you about those two men. They are dealing in a satanic influence and are calling it the Spirit of the Lord.” Said Brother C, “I believe that the Lord has sent you. We have called their influence mesmerism, and we do not generally have meetings here because we have no union with their spirit. They rise above us, manifest much feeling, but they leave an influence darker than Egypt. I never saw them checked or tied up before tonight.”
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 6)
While at family prayer that night the Spirit of the Lord rested upon me and I was taken off in vision. A curtain was lifted, and I was shown the case of these men, and a few others in union with them; that they were practicing deception upon the flock of God, while professing to be the chosen holy servants of God. I saw darkness and iniquity covered up with a pious garb over their dark designs and deeds, disclosing iniquities that some had scarcely dreamed of, and that God would rend off that false covering and expose hidden things that some have scarcely thought of.
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 7)
We returned to Grantham. On our way I fell from the wagon and so injured my side that I had to be carried into the house. That night I suffered great pain. Sister Foss prayed for me, and I united in pleading with God for His blessing and relief from pain. About midnight the blessing of the Lord rested upon me, and those in the house were awakened by hearing my voice while in vision. This was the first time I had a view of the voice of God in connection with the time of trouble. In the same vision I was shown that the cause of God had been wounded in Maine and His children disheartened and scattered by a fanatical spirit, and that J. Turner and J. H., whom we had placed confidence in, were scattering the flock, and under a cloak of godliness were casting fear among the trembling, conscientious ones. I saw that we must go and bear our testimony in Maine. I related what I had seen to those present.
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 8)
We soon returned to Portland and found the brethren in great confusion. A meeting was appointed at the house of Sister H. that I might have an opportunity to relate what had been shown me. While imploring the Lord for strength to discharge this painful duty I was taken off in vision, and in the presence of J. Turner was again shown his ungodly course. Those present said I talked it out before him. After I came out of vision he said that I was under a wrong influence, that a part of the vision was right and a part was wrong; that it would take a critical spiritual observer to detect the difference; that this was the same spirit that had always pursued him to crush him, etc.
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 9)
With anguish of spirit I left the meeting, for I had a message for J. Turner’s wife. I rode to their house and bore my testimony to Sister T., which was to comfort her poor, sore heart. She was weeping as though her heart would break. She confirmed the vision which I related to her. We learned from united testimony that honest, precious souls had been set aside and told that they were rejected of God, and that these fanatical persons had flocked to my father’s house and made that their stopping place. J. Turner and J. Howell were leaders in this rank fanaticism. They followed impressions and burdens which led to corruption instead of purity and holiness.
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 10)
Our parents were disgusted as they saw reason and judgment laid aside by them. They protested against the hypocrisy they witnessed, and as they could not get rid of this company they closed their house and left the city for Poland, where my two married sisters were living. This did not suit J. Turner and he told me when we arrived at Poland that my father was a doomed man; that my mother and sisters might be saved, but my father would be lost. The only reason he offered was because he did not give him possession of his house. When he left Portland his denunciations were bitter. We visited Poland, where my parents were, and as we listened to the recital of their trials and of incidents which had occurred, the vision given in New Hampshire was confirmed.
(1LtMs, Ms 10, 1859, 11)