Before we returned from the Conference, Brethren Andrews, Pierce, and Bourdeau had a special season of prayer at our house, in which we were all greatly blessed, especially my husband. This gave him courage to return to our new home. And then commenced his keen sufferings from his teeth, also our labors reported in the Review. He stopped preaching only one week in his toothless condition, but labored at Orange and Wright, with the church at home, at Greenbush and Bushnell, preaching and baptizing as before.
(1T 596.1)
MC
VC
After returning from the Conference, a great uncertainty came upon me in relation to the prosperity of the cause of God. Doubts existed in my mind where none had been six months before. I viewed God’s people as partaking of the spirit of the world, imitating its fashions, and getting above the simplicity of our faith. It seemed that the church at Battle Creek were backsliding from God, and it was impossible to arouse their sensibilities. The testimonies given me of God had the least influence and were the least heeded in Battle Creek of any part of the field. I trembled for the cause of God. I knew that the Lord had not forsaken His people, but that their sins and iniquities had separated them from God. At Battle Creek is the great heart of the work. Every pulsation is felt by the members of the body all over the field. If this great heart is in health, a vital circulation will be felt all through the body of Sabbathkeepers. If the heart is diseased, the languishing condition of every branch of the work will attest the fact.
(1T 596.2)
MC
VC
My interest is in this work; my life is interwoven with it. When Zion prospers, I am happy; if she languishes, I am sad, desponding, discouraged. I saw that God’s people were in an alarming condition, and His favor was being removed from them. I pondered upon this sad picture day and night, and pleaded in bitter anguish: “O Lord, give not Thine heritage to reproach. Let not the heathen say, Where is their God?” I felt that I was cut loose from everyone at the head of the work and was virtually standing alone. I dared not trust anyone. In the night I have awakened my husband, saying: “I am afraid that I shall become an infidel.” Then I would cry for the Lord to save me by His own powerful arm. I could not see that my testimonies were regarded, and I entertained the thought that perhaps my work in the cause was done. We had appointments at Bushnell, but I told my husband that I could not go. He soon returned from the post office with a letter from Brother Matteson, containing the following dream:
(1T 596.3)
MC
VC