You became confused. You knew not where to trust. There were but few Sabbathkeepers in ----- and vicinity who exerted a saving influence. Some who professed the faith were no honor to the cause of present truth. They did not gather with Christ, but scattered abroad. They could talk loud and long; yet their hearts were not in the work. They were not sanctified by the truth they professed. These, not having root in themselves, gave up the faith. Had they done this at an earlier period, it would have been better for the cause of truth. In consequence of these things, Satan took advantage of you and prepared the way for your backsliding.
(2T 277.1)
MC
VC
My attention was called to your desire to possess means. The sentiment of your heart was: “Oh, if I only had means, I would not squander it! I would set an example to those who are close and penurious. I would show them the great blessing there is to be received in doing good.” Your soul abhorred covetousness. As you have seen those who possessed abundance of this world’s goods shut their hearts to the cry of the needy you have said: “God will visit them; He will reward them according to their works.” As you have seen the wealthy walking in their pride, their hearts girt about with selfishness, as with iron bands, you have felt that they were poorer than yourself, although you were in want and suffering. When you have seen these purse-proud men bearing themselves loftily because money has power, you have felt pity for them, and in no case would you have been induced to change places with them. Yet you desired means that you might so use it as to be a rebuke to the covetous.
(2T 277.2)
MC
VC