In the fall of 1853 we attended Conferences at Buck’s Bridge, N. Y., Stowe, Vt., Boston, Dartmouth and Springfield, Mass., Washington, N. H., and New Haven, Vt. This was a laborious and rather discouraging journey. Many had embraced the truth, who were unsanctified in heart and life, and the elements of strife and rebellion were at work, and it was necessary that a movement should take place to purify the church. The “Messenger” party soon drew off, and the cause was relieved.
(2SG 184.1)
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In the winter and spring I suffered much with heart disease. It was difficult for me to breathe lying down, and I could not sleep unless raised in nearly a sitting posture. My breath often stopped, and fainting fits were frequent. But this was not all my trouble. I had upon my left eye-lid a swelling which appeared to be a cancer. It had been more than a year increasing gradually, until it was quite painful and affected my sight. In reading or writing I was forced to bandage the afflicted eye. And I was constantly afflicted with the thought that my eye might be destroyed with a cancer. I looked back to the days and nights spent in reading proof-sheets, which had strained my eyes, and thought if I lose my eye, and my life, it will be a martyr to the cause.
(2SG 184.2)
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A celebrated physician visited Rochester who gave counsel free. I decided to have him examine my eye. He thought the swelling would prove to be a cancer. He felt my pulse, and said, “You are much diseased, and will die of apoplexy before that swelling will break out. You are in a dangerous condition with disease of the heart.” This did not startle me, for I had been aware that unless I received speedy relief I must lie in the grave. Two other females had come for counsel who were suffering with the same disease. The physician said that I was in a more dangerous condition than either of them, and it could not be more than three weeks before I would be afflicted with paralysis, and next would follow apoplexy. I inquired if he thought his medicine would cure me. He did not give me much encouragement. I purchased some of his medicine. The eyewash was very painful, and I received no benefit from it. I was unable to use the remedies the physician prescribed.
(2SG 185.1)
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In about three weeks I fainted and fell to the floor, and remained unconscious about thirty-six hours. It was feared that I could not live; but in answer to prayer again I revived. One week later, while conversing with sister Anna, I received a shock upon my left side. My head was numb, I had a strange sensation of coldness and numbness in my head, with pressure, and severe pain through my temples. My tongue seemed heavy and numb. I could not speak plainly. My left arm and side were helpless. I thought I was dying, and my great anxiety was to have the evidence amid my suffering that the Lord loved me.
(2SG 185.2)
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For months I had suffered such constant pain in my heart that I did not have one joyful feeling, but my spirits were constantly depressed. I had tried to serve God from principle, without feeling, but I now thirsted for the salvation of God, to realize his blessing, notwithstanding the pain in my heart. The brethren and sisters came together to make my case a special subject of prayer. My desire was granted. Prayer was heard, and I received the blessing of God, and had the assurance that he loved me. But the pain continued, and I grew more feeble every hour. The brethren and sisters again came together to present my case to the Lord. I was then so weak that I could not pray vocally. My appearance seemed to weaken the faith of those around me. Then the promises of God were arrayed before me as I had never viewed them before. It seemed to me that Satan was striving to tear me from my husband and children, and lay me in the grave, and these questions were suggested to my mind, Can you believe the naked promises of God? Can ye walk out by faith, let the appearances be what they may? Faith revived. I whispered to my husband, I believe that I shall recover. He answered, “I wish I could believe it.” I retired that night without relief, yet relying with firm confidence upon the promises of God. I could not sleep, but continued my silent prayer to God. Just before day I slept. As I awoke, the sun was seen from my window, arising in the east. I was perfectly free from pain. The pressure and weight upon my heart was gone, and I was very happy. I was filled with gratitude. The praise of God was upon my lips. O what a change! It seemed to me that an angel of God had touched me while I was sleeping. I awoke my husband and related to him the wonderful work that the Lord had wrought for me. He could scarcely comprehend it at first. But when I arose and dressed, and walked around the house, and he witnessed the change in my countenance, he could praise God with me. My afflicted eye was free from pain. In a few days I looked in the glass, the cancer was gone, and my eyesight was fully restored. The work was complete.
(2SG 186.1)
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Again I visited the physician, and as soon as he felt my pulse he said, “Madam, you are better. An entire change has taken place in your system; but the two women who visited me for counsel when you were last here are dead.” I told him it was not his medicine that had cured me, for I could use none of it. And as I was about to relate the wonderful dealings of the Lord with me, a poor laborer rushed into the room, almost beside himself, saying, “Doctor, they say I must die! that I am in consumption!” Large drops of sweat stood upon his brow. The physician tried to calm his excited mind while he examined his lungs. He waited his examination with intense anxiety. The physician shook his head, and told him he could not deceive him; that he had the quick consumption, and must soon die. His feelings overcame him, and he burst into tears. He had no hope in God, and the future to him was a fearful uncertainty. I was obliged to leave. Sister P., who now rests in the grave, had accompanied me, and related to the physician after I left, that the Lord had heard prayer for me, and restored me to health. Said he, “Her case is a mystery. I do not understand it.”
(2SG 187.1)
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We soon visited Michigan again, and I endured riding over log-ways, and through mud-sloughs, and my strength failed not.
(2SG 188.1)
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We felt that the Lord would have us visit Wisconsin, and were to take the cars at Jackson at 10 o’clock in the evening. About 5 o’clock in the afternoon a young man of very pleasing appearance called at Bro. Palmer’s and inquired if they wished books bound, and stated that he was going out on the evening train, and would bind them at Marshall, and return them in a few weeks.
(2SG 188.2)
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