[Late in 1891, Ellen G. White, in response to a request from the general conference, journeyed to Australia to assist in strengthening the newly established work there. The sojourn extended to nine years. Soon after her arrival she was overtaken by an extended and painful illness. The citations in this section record her fortitude in this affliction. See Selected Messages 2:233-242.]
(RY 135)
During Prolonged Illness
Every mail has taken from one to two hundred pages from my hand, and most of it has been written either as I am now propped up on the bed by pillows, half lying or half sitting, or bolstered up sitting in an uncomfortable chair.
(RY 135.1)
It is very painful to my hip and to the lower part of my spine to sit up. If such easy chairs were to be found in this country [Australia] as you have at the sanitarium, one would be readily purchased by me, if it cost thirty dollars.... It is with great weariness that I can sit erect and hold up my head. I must rest it against the back of the chair on the pillows, half reclining. This is my condition just now.
(RY 135.2)
But I am not at all discouraged. I feel that I am sustained daily. In the long weary hours of the night, when sleep has been out of the question, I have devoted much time to prayer; and when every nerve seemed to be shrieking with pain, when if I considered myself, it seemed I should go frantic, the peace of Christ has come into my heart in such measure that I have been filled with gratitude and thanksgiving. I know that Jesus loves me, and I love Jesus. Some nights I have slept three hours, a few nights four hours, and much of the time only two, and yet in these long Australian nights, in the darkness, all seems light about me, and I enjoy sweet communion with God.
(RY 135.3)
When I first found myself in a state of helplessness I deeply regretted having crossed the broad waters. Why was I not in America? Why at such expense was I in this country? Time and again I could have buried my face in the bed quilts and had a good cry. But I did not long indulge in the luxury of tears.
(RY 136.1)
I said to myself, “Ellen G. White, what do you mean? Have you not come to Australia because you felt that it was your duty to go where the conference judged it best for you to go? Has this not been your practice?”
(RY 136.2)
I said, “Yes.”
(RY 136.3)
“Then why do you feel almost forsaken and discouraged? Is not this the enemy’s work?”
(RY 136.4)
I said, “I believe it is.”
(RY 136.5)
I dried my tears as quickly as possible and said, “It is enough; I will not look on the dark side any more. Live or die, I commit the keeping of my soul to Him who died for me.”
(RY 136.6)
I then believed that the Lord would do all things well, and during this eight months of helplessness, I have not had any despondency or doubt. I now look at this matter as a part of the Lord’s great plan, for the good of His people here in this country, and for those in America, and for my good. I cannot explain why or how, but I believe it. And I am happy in my affliction. I can trust my heavenly Father. I will not doubt His love. I have an ever-watchful guardian day and night, and I will praise the Lord, for His praise is upon my lips because it comes from a heart full of gratitude.—Letter 18a, 1892.
(RY 136.7)
Prayer and Anointing—but Not Instantly Healed
May 21, 1892. The trying, almost sleepless night is ended. Yesterday afternoon Elder [A. G.] Daniells and his wife, Elder [G. C.] Tenney and his wife, and Brethren Stockton and Smith came to our house at my request to pray that the Lord would heal me. We had a most earnest season of prayer, and we were all much blessed. I was relieved, but not restored. I have now done all that I can to follow the Bible directions, and I shall wait for the Lord to work, believing that in His own good time He will heal me. My faith takes hold of the promise, “Ask, and ye shall receive” (John 16:24).
(RY 137.1)
I believe that the Lord heard our prayers. I hoped that my captivity might be turned immediately, and to my finite judgment it seemed that thus God would be glorified. I was much blessed during our season of prayer, and I shall hold fast to the assurance then given me: “I am your Redeemer; I will heal you.”— Manuscript 19, 1892.
(RY 137.2)
Jesus Knows Our Griefs and Pains
June 26, 1892. I am glad when the daylight comes, for the nights are long and wearisome. But when I cannot sleep, gratitude fills my heart as I think that One who never slumbers is watching over me for good. What a wonderful thought it is that Jesus knows all about the pains and griefs we bear. In all our afflictions He was afflicted. Some among our friends know nothing of human woe or physical pain. They are never sick, and therefore they cannot enter fully into the feelings of those who are sick. But Jesus is touched with the feeling of our infirmity. He is the great medical missionary. He has taken humanity upon Himself, and has placed Himself at the head of a new dispensation, in order that He may reconcile justice and compassion.— Manuscript 19, 1892.
(RY 137.3)
“Make Me a Healthy, Fruit-bearing Branch”
June 29, 1892. My prayer on awaking is, Jesus, keep Thy child today. Take me under Thy guardianship. Make me a healthy, fruit-bearing branch of the living Vine. “Without Me,” Christ says, “ye can do nothing” (John 15:5). In and through Christ we can do all things.
(RY 138.1)
He who was the adored of angels, who had listened to the music of the heavenly choir, was ever touched, while upon this earth, with the sorrows of children, ever ready to listen to the story of their childish woe. He often dried their tears, cheering them with the tender sympathy of His words, which seemed to hush their sorrows and make them forget their grief. The emblem in the form of a dove that hovered over Jesus at His baptism represents His gentleness of character.— Manuscript 19, 1892.
(RY 138.2)
“Let No Unkind Words Be Spoken by Me”
June 30, 1892. Another night of great weariness is nearly passed. Although I continue to suffer much pain, I know that I am not forsaken by my Saviour. My prayer is, Help me, Jesus, that I may not dishonor Thee with my lips. Let no unkind words be spoken by me.— Manuscript 19, 1892.
(RY 139.1)
“I Will Not Complain”
July 6, 1892. I am so thankful that I can tell the Lord all my fears and perplexities. I feel that I am under the shield of His wings. An infidel once asked a God-fearing youth, “How great is the God you worship?”“So great,” was the reply, “that He fills immensity, and yet so small that He dwells in every sanctified heart.”
(RY 139.2)
O precious Saviour, I long for Thy salvation. “As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after Thee” (Psalm 42:1). I long for a clearer view of Jesus. I love to think of His spotless life, to meditate upon His lessons. How many times I repeat the words, “Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
(RY 139.3)
Much of the time my body is full of pain, but I will not by complaining become unworthy of the name of Christian. I am assured that this lesson of suffering will be to the glory of God, a means of warning others to avoid continuous labor under trying circumstances so unfavorable to health of the body.— Manuscript 19, 1892.
(RY 139.4)
“The Lord Strengthens Me”
July 7, 1892. The Lord strengthens me by His grace to write important letters. The brethren frequently come to me for counsel. I feel a strong assurance that this tedious affliction is for the glory of the Lord. I will not murmur; for when I wake in the night, it seems that Jesus is looking upon me. The fifty-first chapter of Isaiah is exceedingly precious to me. He bears all our burdens. I read this chapter with assurance and hope.— Manuscript 19, 1892.
(RY 140.1)
No Thought of Beating a Retreat
July 10, 1892. I awoke Emily [Emily Campbell, Mrs. White’s traveling companion and secretary.] at five o’clock to build my fire and help me to dress. I thank the Lord that I had a better night’s rest than usual. My wakeful hours I employ in prayer and meditation. The question forces itself upon me, Why do I not receive the blessing of restoration to health? Shall I interpret these long months of sickness as evidences of the displeasure of God because I came to Australia? I answer decidedly, No, I dare not do this. At times before leaving America I thought that the Lord did not require me to go to a country so far away, at my age and when I was prostrated by overwork. But I followed the voice of the [General] Conference, as I have ever tried to do at times when I had no clear light myself. I came to Australia, and found the believers here in a condition where they must have help. For weeks after reaching here I labored as earnestly as I have ever labored in my life. Words were given me to speak in regard to the necessity of personal piety....
(RY 140.2)
I am in Australia, and I believe that I am just where the Lord wants me to be. Because suffering is my portion, I have no thought of beating a retreat. The blessed assurance is given me that Jesus is mine and that I am His child. The darkness is dispelled by the bright beams of the Sun of Righteousness. Who can understand the pain I suffer but the One who is afflicted in all our afflictions? To whom can I speak but to Him who is touched with the feeling of our infirmities, and who knows how to succor those who are tempted?
(RY 141.1)
When I pray earnestly for restoration, and it seems that the Lord does not answer, my spirit almost faints within me. Then it is that the dear Saviour makes me mindful of His presence. He says to me, Cannot you trust Him who has purchased you with His own blood? I have graven thee on the palms of My hands. Then my soul is nourished with the divine Presence. I am lifted out of myself, as it were, into the presence of God.— Manuscript 19, 1892.
(RY 141.2)
God Knows What Is Best
July 14, 1892. When the affliction under which I have been suffering for several months came upon me, I was surprised that it was not removed at once in answer to prayer. But the promise, “My grace is sufficient” (2 Corinthians 12:9), has been fulfilled in my case. There can be no doubt on my part. My hours of pain have been hours of prayer, for I have known to whom to take my sorrows. I have the privilege of reinforcing my feeble strength by laying hold upon infinite power. By day and night I stand on the solid rock of God’s promises.
(RY 141.3)
My heart goes out to Jesus in loving trust. He knows what is best for me. My nights would be lonely did I not claim the promise, “Call upon Me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify Me” (Psalm 50:15).— Manuscript 19, 1892.
(RY 142.1)
Lessons From The Months Of Suffering
I have been passing through great trial in pain and suffering and helplessness, but through it all I have obtained a precious experience more valuable to me than gold. When I was first convinced that I must give up my cherished plans to visit the churches in Australia and New Zealand, I felt to seriously question whether it was my duty to leave America and come to this far-off country. My sufferings were acute. Many sleepless hours of the nights I spent in going over and over our experience since we left Europe for America, and it has been a continual scene of anxiety, suffering, and burden bearing. Then I said, What does it all mean?
(RY 142.2)
I carefully reviewed the history of the past few years and the work the Lord gave me to do. Not once did He fail me, and often He manifested Himself to me in a marked manner, and I saw I had nothing of which to complain, but instead precious things running like threads of gold through all my experience. The Lord understood better than I the things that I needed, and I felt that He was drawing me very nigh to Himself, and I must be careful not to dictate to God as to what He should do with me. This unreconciliation was at the beginning of my sufferings and helplessness, but it was not long until I felt that my affliction was a part of God’s plan. I found that by partly lying and partly sitting I could place myself in position to use my crippled hands, and although suffering much pain I could do considerable writing. Since coming to this country I have written sixteen hundred pages of paper of this size.
(RY 142.3)
Many nights during the past nine months I was enabled to sleep but two hours a night, and then at times darkness would gather about me; but I prayed, and realized much sweet comfort in drawing nigh to God. The promises, “Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you” (James 4:8), “When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him” (Isaiah 59:19), were fulfilled to me. I was all light in the Lord. Jesus was sacredly near, and I found the grace given sufficient, for my soul was stayed upon God, and I was full of grateful praise to Him who loved me and gave Himself for me. I could say from a full heart, “I know whom I have believed” (2 Timothy 1:12). “God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Through Jesus Christ I have come off more than conqueror, and held the vantage ground.
(RY 143.1)
I cannot read the purpose of God in my affliction, but He knows what is best, and I will commit my soul, body, and spirit to Him as unto my faithful Creator. “For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day” (2 Timothy 1:12).—Letter 7, 1892.
(RY 143.2)
Expect Short-Term Memory Problems
He who has grown old in the service of God may find his mind a blank in regard to the things that are happening about him, and recent transactions may soon pass from his memory; but his mind is all awake to the scenes and transactions of his childhood.—Sons and Daughters of God, 78.
(RY 144.1)
Rest in His Love
We honor God and our Lord Jesus Christ when we rest in His love. You are one of the Lord’s witnesses, whom He will never leave nor forsake. I am instructed to say to you, He has pardoned all your sins, and put upon you the white robe of His righteousness. All He requires of you now is to rest in His love. He has you in His keeping. You have fought the battles of the Lord Jesus Christ, you have kept the faith, and henceforth there is laid up for you a crown of life, to be your reward in that day when life and immortality shall be given to all who have kept the faith and have not denied the Saviour’s name.
(RY 144.2)
That your mind is clouded is no evidence that Christ is not your precious Saviour. Now that the childhood of age has come upon you, He regards you as no less His child. Your religious life bears its testimony now as in the past. You have believed the word of God, and in perplexities and trials have acted according to that word. Like the apostle you may say, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love His appearing” (2 Timothy 4:7, 8).—Letter 299, 1904.
(RY 144.3)