〉 The Bonds of Wedlock, July 15
The Bonds of Wedlock, July 15
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18. (HP 203.1)
I have often read these words: “Marriage is a lottery.” Some act as if they believed the statement, and their married life testifies that it is such to them. But true marriage is not a lottery. Marriage was instituted in Eden. After the creation of Adam, the Lord said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet”—suitable—“for him.” When the Lord presented Eve to Adam, angels of God were witnesses to the ceremony. But there are few couples who are completely united when the marriage ceremony is performed. The form of words spoken over the two who take the marriage vow does not make them a unit. In their future life is to be the blending of the two in wedlock. It may be made a really happy union, if each will give to the other true heart affection. (HP 203.2)
But time strips marriage of the romance with which imagination had clothed it, and then the thought finds entrance into the mind through Satan’s suggestions, “We do not love each other as we supposed.” Expel it from the mind. Do not linger over it. Let each, forgetful of self, refuse to entertain the ideas that Satan would be glad to have you cherish. He will work to make you suspicious, jealous of every little thing that shall furnish the least occasion, in order to alienate your affections from each other.... When the romance is gone, let each think, not after a sentimental order, how he or she can make the married life what God would be pleased to have it. (HP 203.3)
Life is a precious gift of God and is not to be wasted in selfish regrets or more open indifference and dislike. Let the husband and wife talk things all over together. Renew the early attentions to each other, acknowledge your faults to each other, but in this work be very careful that the husband does not take it upon himself to confess his wife’s faults or the wife her husband’s. Be determined that you will be all that it is possible for you to be to each other, and the bonds of wedlock will be the most desirable of ties.—Letter 76, 1894. (HP 203.4)
Your home may be a symbol of heaven.—Letter 10, 1894. (HP 203.5)