Many women struggle with feelings of self-worth and value in God’s sight. As in other portions of this book, the passages used may not have been written specifically for or to women, but they are applicable to them in their search for an understanding of how God views them as His creation and how they should view themselves and others.
(DG 141.1)
Developing Self-respect—If we wish to do good to souls, our success with these souls will be in proportion to their belief in our belief in, and appreciation of, them. Respect shown to the struggling human soul is the sure means through Christ Jesus of the restoration of the self-respect the man has lost. Our advancing ideas of what he may become are a help we cannot ourselves fully appreciate.—Fundamentals of Christian Education, 280, 281 (1893).
(DG 141.2)
We Should Respect Ourselves—The Lord has given every one of us a sense of self-respect, and this must not be opposed too abruptly. God wants us to respect ourselves. In our families and in the church, we too often seek to destroy self-respect. Do not do it. Do not do it in our schools. Do not do it in our offices. The Lord has said that every one of these institutions is to be educational in character. The students and workers will follow the example set by those who have charge over them. The teacher is to be a pattern to the learner. If he wants the youth to respect him, he must respect them.—The General Conference Bulletin, April 25, 1901.
(DG 141.3)
Not Pleasing to God to Demerit Oneself—It is the privilege of everyone to so live that God will approve and bless him. You may be hourly in communion with Heaven; it is not the will of your heavenly Father that you should ever be under condemnation and darkness. It is not pleasing to God that you should demerit yourself. You should cultivate self-respect by living so that you will be approved by your own conscience, and before men and angels. It is not an evidence of true humility that you go with your head bowed down, and your heart filled with thoughts of self. It is your privilege to go to Jesus and be cleansed, and to stand before the law without shame and remorse. “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” While we should not think of ourselves more highly than we ought, the Word of God does not condemn a proper self-respect. As sons and daughters of God, we should have a conscious dignity of character, in which pride and self-importance have no part.—The Review and Herald, March 27, 1888.
(DG 142.1)
Counsel to One Who Had Lost Self-respect—Jesus loves you, and He has given me a message for you. His great heart of infinite tenderness yearns over you. He sends you the message that you may recover yourself from the snare of the enemy. You may regain your self-respect. You may stand where you regard yourself, not as a failure, but as a conqueror, in and through the uplifting influence of the Spirit of God. Take hold of the hand of Christ, and do not let it go.—Medical Ministry, 43 (1903).
(DG 142.2)
Bitter Words Result in Loss of Self-respect—What harm is wrought in the family circle by the utterance of impatient words; for the impatient utterance of one leads another to retort in the same spirit and manner. Then come words of retaliation, words of self-justification, and it is by such words that a heavy, galling yoke is manufactured for your neck; for all these bitter words will come back in a baleful harvest to your soul. Those who indulge in such language will experience shame, loss of self-respect, loss of self-confidence, and will have bitter remorse and regret that they allowed themselves to lose self-control and speak in this way. How much better would it be if words of this character were never spoken! How much better to have the oil of grace in the heart, to be able to pass by all provocation, and bear all things with Christlike meekness and forbearance.—The Review and Herald, May 19, 1891.
(DG 142.3)
Self-respect, Humility, and Efficiency in God’s Work—In doing the work of God you will be placed in a variety of circumstances which will require self-possession and self-control, but which will qualify you to adapt yourself to circumstances and the peculiarities of the situation. Then you can act yourself unembarrassed. You should not place too low an estimate upon your ability to act your part in the various callings of practical life. Where you are aware of deficiencies, go to work at once to remedy those defects. Do not trust to others to supply your deficiencies, while you go on indifferently, as though it were a matter of course that your peculiar organization must ever remain so. Apply yourself earnestly to cure these defects, that you may be perfect in Christ Jesus, wanting in nothing.—Testimonies for the Church 3:505 (1885).
(DG 143.1)
Respect and Love One Another—If we keep uppermost in our minds the unkind and unjust acts of others we shall find it impossible to love them as Christ has loved us; but if our thoughts dwell upon the wondrous love and pity of Christ for us, the same spirit will flow out to others. We should love and respect one another, notwithstanding the faults and imperfections that we cannot help seeing. Humility and self-distrust should be cultivated, and a patient tenderness with the faults of others. This will kill out all narrowing selfishness and make us largehearted and generous.—Steps to Christ, 121 (1892).
(DG 143.2)
Christians Have a Positive Duty to Cultivate Respect for Themselves—It should be the fixed purpose of the youth to aim high in all their plans for their life-work. They should adopt for their government in all things the standard which God’s Word presents. This is the Christian’s positive duty, and it should be also his positive pleasure. Cultivate respect for yourself because you are Christ’s purchased possession. Success in the formation of right habits, advancement in that which is noble and just, will give you an influence that all will appreciate and value. Live for something besides self. If your motives are pure and unselfish, if you are ever looking for work to do, if you are always on the alert to show kindly attentions and do courteous deeds, you are unconsciously building your own monument. This is the work God calls upon all children and youth to do. Do good, if you would be cherished in the memory of others. Live to be a blessing to all with whom you come in contact, wherever your lot may be cast. Let the children and youth awake to their opportunities. By kindness and love, by self-sacrificing deeds, let them write their names in the hearts of those with whom they associate.—The Youth’s Instructor, February 7, 1901.
(DG 143.3)
Duty of All to Respect Self—We must have a better and deeper teaching than man can give us. There must be a deep conviction in our own souls that forms and ceremonies are as nothing without Christ. He is the Alpha and Omega. Truth is the only panoply for the covering of any soul. Our convictions need daily to be reinforced by humble, sincere prayer and reading of the Word. While we each have an individuality, while we each should hold our convictions firmly, we must hold them as God’s truth and in the strength which God imparts. If we do not, they will be wrung from our grasp.
(DG 144.1)
We need to be self-reliant; it is the duty of all to respect self; but we are to remember that we are God’s property, that we are bought with a price, body, soul, and spirit. We must guard the living machinery, and keep it in the very best condition, that we may glorify God. It is to be daily oiled by His grace, to run at His touch, without friction. To trust in ourselves, to become boastful as if we had created and redeemed ourselves, is to dishonor God. Human wisdom, aside from God, will prove itself to be foolishness, and will bring confusion and perplexity. We need to have on the whole armor of God. The holy influence of a Saviour’s loving protection is our sure defense. There is but One who can prove a safeguard against the schemes of Satan.—1888 Materials 1626 (1896).
(DG 144.2)
Respect Self, for You Are Bought With a Price—This feeling of guiltiness must be laid at the foot of the cross of Calvary. The sense of sinfulness has poisoned the springs of life and of true happiness. Now Jesus says, “Lay it all on Me; I will take your sins. I will give you peace. Banish no longer your self-respect, for I have bought you with the price of My own blood. You are Mine. Your weakened will I will strengthen; your remorse for sin I will remove.”—Manuscript Releases 9:305 (1896).
(DG 144.3)
A Letter of Encouragement
Written to Martha Bourdeau, a woman afflicted with feelings of self-doubt, despondency, worthlessness, and discouragement. [Martha Bourdeau was the younger sister of George I. Butler, a prominent leader in the Seventh-day Adventist Church. She was first married to William Andrews, brother of J.N. Andrews. They had three children, among whom was Edith Andrews, who would soon die of tuberculosis. A.C. Bourdeau went to Europe in 1884, and Martha, now a widow, married him. They labored together in Italy.]
(DG 145.1)
Dear Sister Martha,
(DG 145)
We came here [Tramelan, Switzerland] last Friday, and the Lord has given me some precious tokens for good. I spoke with much freedom to our brothers and sisters from Malachi 4:6. The Lord spoke to hearts. Abel Guenin, who has been discouraged for a long time and had taken no part in the meetings, broke down and confessed his wrong, his indifference, and his discouragements. Said he would no longer remain in the place he was then in. He would come into harmony with the church and do his duty in the fear of God. The tears ran down his face while he talked. His mother, [who] has taken no part with the church and has been much prejudiced against anyone from America, spoke for the first time. She bore a good testimony.
(DG 145.2)
A young man, a baker employed by Oscar Roth, made a humble confession. The Spirit of the Lord was indeed in our meeting. A sweet melting power was there. After meeting, we had a praying season in Brother Roth’s house for the son of Brother Guenin. I prayed while Brother John Vuilleumier interpreted. The blessing of the Lord came in and the young man with tears running down his face shook hands with his sisters and confessed his wrongs. It was a precious season indeed....
(DG 145.3)
My mind goes to you, Martha, in Torre Pellice [Italy], and I believe that yourself and husband should attend the meeting of the conference. We want to see you, and we want to see you trusting fully in the precious Saviour. He loves you; He gave His life for you because He valued your soul. I had a dream not long since. I was going through a garden, and you were by my side. You kept saying, “Look at this unsightly shrub, this deformed tree, that poor stunted rosebush. This makes me feel bad, for they seem to represent my life and the relation I stand in before God.” I thought a stately form walked just before us, and he said, “Gather the roses and the lilies and the pinks, and leave the thistles and unsightly shrubs, and bruise not the soul that Christ has in His choice keeping.”
(DG 145.4)
I awoke; I slept again and the same dream was repeated. And I awoke and slept and the third time it was repeated. Now I want you to consider this and put away your distrust, your worrying, your fears. Look away from yourself to Jesus; look away from your husband to Jesus. God has spoken to you words of encouragement; grasp them, act upon them, walk by faith, and not by sight. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1.
(DG 145.5)
Jesus holds His hand beneath you. Jesus will not suffer the enemy to overcome you. Jesus will give you the victory. He has the virtue; He has the righteousness. You may look to yourself to find it and may well despair in doing this because it is not there. Jesus has it. It is yours by faith because you love God and keep His commandments.
(DG 146.1)
Do not listen to Satan’s lies, but recount God’s promises. Gather the roses and the lilies and the pinks. Talk of the promises of God. Talk faith. Trust in God, for He is your only hope. He is my only hope. I have tremendous battles with Satan’s temptations to discouragements, but I will not yield an inch. I will not give Satan an advantage over my body or my mind.
(DG 146.2)
If you look to yourself, you will see only weakness. There is no Saviour there. You will find Jesus away from yourself. You must look and live; [look] to Him who became sin for us, that we might be cleansed from sin and receive of Christ’s righteousness.
(DG 146.3)
Now, Martha, do not look to yourself but away to Jesus. Talk of His love, talk of His goodness, talk of His power, for He will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able to bear. But in Christ is our righteousness. Jesus makes up our deficiencies because He sees we cannot do it ourselves. While praying for you I see a soft light encompassing a hand stretched out to save you. God’s words are our credentials. We stand upon them. We love the truth. We love Jesus. Feelings are no evidence of God’s displeasure.
(DG 146.4)
Your life is precious in the sight of God. He has a work for you to do. It is not unfolded to you now, but just walk on trustingly without a single word, because this would grieve the dear Jesus and show that you were afraid to trust Him. Lay your hand in His; He is reaching over the battlements of heaven [for it] to be laid confidingly in His. Oh, what love, what tender love has Jesus manifested in our behalf. The Bible promises are the pinks and the roses and the lilies in the garden of the Lord.
(DG 146.5)
Oh, how many walk a dark path, looking to the objectionable, unlovely things on either side of them, when a step higher are the flowers. They think they have no right to say they are children of God and lay hold on the promises set before them in the gospel, because they do not have the evidence of their acceptance with God. They go through painful struggles, afflicting their souls, as did Martin Luther to cast himself upon Christ’s righteousness.
(DG 147.1)
There are many who think they can come to Jesus only in the way the child did who was possessed of the demon that threw him down and tore him as he was being led to the Saviour. You are not of the kind that should have any such conflicts and trials. Richard Baxter was distressed because he did not have such agonizing, humiliating views of himself as he thought he ought to have. But this was explained to his satisfaction at last and peace came to his heart.
(DG 147.2)
There is no requirement for you to take on a burden for yourself, for you are Christ’s property. He has you in His hand. His everlasting arms are about you. Your life has not been a life of sinfulness in the common acceptance of the term. You have a conscientious fear to do wrong, a principle in your heart to choose the right, and now you want to turn your face away from the briers and thorns to the flowers.
(DG 147.3)
Let the eye be fixed on the Son of Righteousness. Do not make your dear, loving, heavenly Father a tyrant; but see His tenderness, His pity, His large, broad love, and His great compassion. His love exceeds that of a mother for her child. The mother may forget, yet will not I forget thee, saith the Lord. Oh, my dear, Jesus wants you to trust Him. May His blessing rest upon you in a rich measure is my earnest prayer.
(DG 147.4)
You were born with an inheritance of discouragement, and you need constantly to be encouraging a hopeful state of feelings. You received from both father and mother a peculiar conscientiousness and also inherited from your mother a disposition to demerit self rather than to exalt self. A word moves you while a heavy judgment only is sufficient to move another of a different temperament. Were you situated where you knew you were helping others, however hard the load, however taxing the labor, you would do everything with cheerfulness and distress yourself that you did nothing.
(DG 147.5)
Samuel, who served God from his childhood, needed a very different discipline than one who had a set, stubborn, selfish will. Your childhood was not marked with grossness, although there were the errors of humanity in it. The whole matter has been laid open before me. I know you far better than you know yourself. God will help you to triumph over Satan if you will simply trust Jesus to fight these stern battles that you are wholly unable to fight in your finite strength.
(DG 148.1)
You love Jesus and He loves you. Now just patiently trust in Him, saying over and over, Lord, I am Thine. Cast yourself heartily on Christ. It is not joy that is the evidence that you are a Christian. Your evidence is in a Thus saith the Lord. By faith, I lay you, my dear sister, on the bosom of Jesus Christ.
(DG 148.2)
Read the following lines [from “Jesus Lover of My Soul”] and appropriate the sentiment as your own:
(DG 148.3)
“Other refuge have I none, Hangs my helpless soul on Thee; Leave, O leave me not alone! Still support and comfort me; All my trust on Thee is stayed, All my help from Thee I bring; Cover my defenseless head With the shadow of Thy wing.
(DG 148.4)
Plenteous grace with Thee is found— Grace to pardon all my sin; Let the healing streams abound, Make and keep me pure within; Thou of life the Fountain art, Freely let me take of Thee; Spring Thou up within my heart, Rise to all eternity.”
(DG 148.5)
I made two copies of the enclosed, one to send to you; but it was too poor, I thought, to be read, so laid it by and did not send it New Year’s as I intended. I think you can read it holding it up to the light.—Letter 35, 1887.
(DG 148.6)